Over winter break, my best friend from high school and I met up at our favorite coffee shop and reviewed the past semester. As we talked, we were both struck by how dramatically our lives had changed since the previous Christmas season. Second year felt even more transformative than first year, and as we compared our current lives to what our senior-year selves had envisioned, some of the changes seemed ridiculously unexpected. We shared anecdotes about trivial things like boys and failed romances, cringed over some of our more regrettable party antics, and swapped stories about classes that kicked our ass or teachers who inspired us. It was a long semester. My best friend summed it up best when she shrugged and said: “Eh. It’s all in the name of personal growth.” I think that’s the most important non-testable material I learned this past semester, and as we all enter a new year it’s a mantra I would encourage you to remember and embrace.
The Cavalier Daily has published a lot of columns about the “meaning of college.” Is college merely a means to an end? Is the degree all that matters because it offers economic security and we all want to be more employable? Or is college a time to be selfish and self-centered? Are we supposed to cherish every moment and throw practicality to the wind as we embrace our passions and cultivate life experiences? Perhaps the true purpose of college lays somewhere in the middle of that harsh dichotomy. I don’t know: that’s not the question I am setting out to answer with this column. However you feel about college and why you are here, it is certainly true that college is changing and shaping you every day that you attend. That is also true of life overall, of course.
But here at the University, we are exposed to situations that challenge us in unusual ways. We are introduced to people we may not have had the chance to meet otherwise. We are intensely socialized at all times: parties, club meetings, office hours, lunch dates and interviews constitute a significant portion of our free time. College forces us to grow, and often puts us in situations outside our comfort zone. Many of us have never been asked to create a formal resume or cover letter. Some of us may not have interviewed for a job before. A lot of college students have their first interactions with drugs and alcohol here. It may be the first time you have been in a committed relationship or “rushed” an organization. When these experiences shove us outside our realm of security, we are bound to fail occasionally. We are sure to screw up, embarrass ourselves, get some bad grades, make questionable fashion choices, say things we regret or take classes we hate. The list goes on. But that’s all OK. It is important to remember that your failures are just as valuable as your successes. They are all in the name of personal growth.
I am not making excuses for mistakes. It is not OK to fail all your classes, be a terrible friend, constantly get too drunk at parties or endanger your health and safety and refuse to learn from it. But if these things do happen, it is OK to forgive yourself, especially if you make the all-important decision to take something away from the experience.
Know that no one is perfect, and every misstep is an opportunity for you to realize your goals and priorities. Sometimes you have to make the incorrect decision before you can understand why the correct one is right. This is the mindset I am adopting going into my new semester, and I hope some of you will find it helpful, too. Each day that you live is contributing to your personal growth, and that is an amazing concept. Embrace it.
Ashley Spinks is an Opinion columnist for The Cavalier Daily. Her columns run Mondays.
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