1. Celebrate ‘Pal’entine’s Day
The best way to pretend you’re not lonely is to surround yourself with other single people. Your friends know you better than anyone else, so take this time to fully appreciate everything they do for you. Go on a cute friend date or watch a movie together. Bash your exes and smash glasses! Why not? No one ever said that Valentine’s Day couldn’t use a little anarchy. I would prefer it that way.
2. Hop on Tinder
I had to explain what Tinder is to my mom for this article, so if I can do that, you can get yourself on the app and try to find someone to spend Valentine’s Day with. So what if it doesn’t work out? This school has almost 16,000 undergraduates, so luckily the chances that you’ll ever see them again are pretty low. And if it does go well, then you’ve got yourself a brand new boo thang for the rest of the cold winter months. Tinder is just part of the college experience, so you might as well jump on the bandwagon now.
3. Buy yourself a gift
Who needs a significant other to buy them gifts? Not you! You’re an independent college student who can treat yourself. Maybe you’ve had your eye on a book for a while or you really love those Edible Arrangements things. Just go crazy. Buy it all. Nothing is off limits! Soon the joy from the mound of presents you bought yourself will far outweigh your loneliness. Just try not to do this every time you get lonely or you’ll soon be feeling pain from your singleness and your credit card bill.
4. Catch up on celebrity gossip
Hot celebrity gossip is great if you want to focus on other people’s problems instead of your own. For example, Kylie Jenner just had a baby. Now it’s time to go back through all of her social media posts and try to decipher the hints she dropped about her pregnancy. At some point you will go so deep that you will reach the Illuminati, but at least you aren’t worrying about Valentine’s Day anymore.
5. Pig out
Valentine’s Day produces some pretty amazing food and deals, if you ask me. The candy gets significantly cuter, which in turn makes it taste significantly better. If you don’t have a sweet tooth, don’t worry, even savory dishes get in on the Valentine’s Day fun! Chick-fil-A is offering heart-shaped boxes filled with nuggets or Chick-n-Minis. I would honestly love to get either one of those things more than roses. Flowers die so quickly, and they don’t taste nearly as good as tiny chicken sandwiches.
6. Binge watch
While I understand that binge watching isn’t that different from our everyday lives, there is a way to Valentine’s Day binge watch — two ways, actually. One method is go to traditional with sappy rom-coms like “Maid in Manhattan” or “How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days.” Then there’s the untraditional route with movies and shows that will make you realize you’re better off single. For example, in “Ocean’s Eleven,” George Clooney sabotages Julia Roberts’ current relationship with a man just because he’s jealous that she moved on. Who needs people like that in their life? Not you, that’s who.
7. Practice predicting the future
There are quizzes everywhere on the internet that will tell you when you’ll get married, how you’ll get married, your honeymoon destination and so much more. So instead of worrying when The One will come along, just let Buzzfeed tell you. Or you could rely on the planets and read your horoscope. Maybe love isn’t in the stars for you this Valentine’s Day. This way, if things go wrong, you can blame your fate on the fact that you’re a Gemini and Venus is in retrograde or something like that.
8. Read the news
Nothing will make you lose hope in love quite as fast as reading the news these days. Between global warming, deportations and government shutdowns, it’s a wonder there’s any hope left in the world at all. Once you’re finished going through the horrors of the day, you’ll be so filled with existential dread that Feb. 14 will become just another day in the year of this journey on a rock hurtling through space that we’re all eventually going to die on.
9. Pet some dogs
If you need some unconditional love, dogs are the way to go. You could be the most awkward person in the world with the worst romantic track record at the University and a dog will still love you no matter what. Maybe it’s time to go out and get a dog yourself. If you’ve been waiting for a sign that it’s time to welcome a furry friend into your home, here it is from a random girl that you happen to go to college with. Live your doggy dreams!
10. Get drunk
This is literally the simplest solution to the single-on-Valentine’s-Day problem. Well, unless you’re one of those sad drunks that ends up crying in the club every Saturday. If you’re one of those people that develops a love for everything and everyone or loses their memory, then this is probably the choice for you. Whether you’re getting drunk with strangers at Trin or with your buddies at home, just remember that Valentine’s Day doesn’t last forever — but a hangover sure feels like it does.