Top 10 ways to never leave summer

How did Phineas and Ferb get 104 days off anyway?

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Ben Rosenthal is a Top 10 Writer for The Cavalier Daily.

Christina Anton | Cavalier Daily

1. Set your calendar eight months forward

Welcome to Aug. 27, 2019. It is the first day of class and the furthest you will ever be from the first day of summer. That is, unless you game the system. Take out your phone, open up the Calendar app and change the date to April 27, 2020. Sure, you've time-traveled smack dab into the middle of finals season for classes you have now skipped the entirety of — but summer is just five bombed finals away. 

2. Never change out of shorts

Remember those boys in fifth grade who wore basketball shorts no matter what, even if it was Dec. 15, and it had just snowed 16 inches? Of course you do — those guys were the coolest and toughest kids around. And they might have been onto something huge. You know how they say “dress for the job you want, not the job you have?” Here's a revelation— dress for the season you need and not the season you're in.

3. Refer to everyone as "dude"

Summer is a time of year, but it is also a state of mind. While the more obvious characteristics such as the heat, humidity and lack of stress from midterms are usually associated with summer, its intangibility might be what matters most. In other words, if you hold the summer spirit in your heart, no change in time — or climate — can take summer away from you. One way of keeping the summer spirit flowing is to refer to everyone you meet — peers, professors and police officers — as “dude.”  If you don't believe me, try it on the next person you meet. If you tell me you don't feel like it's July 15, but you're on a tropical island with a cool, crisp appletini in your hands after saying that, then you're lying.

4. Subsist entirely on ice cream 

Ah, ice cream. It’s the iconic treat for the summer heat. While ice cream trucks dissipate around September, the University has soft-serve ice cream in our dining halls year-round. And, as fortune has it, it’s one of the three things you can find in O’Hill that isn't raw! If you're like me, an upperclassman on a swipes-limited meal plan, this may not be the path for you. But if you're a first-year and you're open to the “Freshman 15,” get ready to taste that sweet summer bliss.

5. Pull the trigger on that inflatable kiddie pool

If you're renting an off-Grounds house and you haven't deeply considered buying an inflatable kiddie pool off of Amazon and setting it up in your front lawn, then you're doing it wrong. At least, that's what I tell myself to normalize this little dream of mine. One of my favorite summer pastimes is hanging by the pool, and what better way to keep that part of summer flowing year-round than to have your own pool? Given the state of the housing market, it's probably the only property you'll own for at least nine years. 

6. Live in the AFC pool

If you don't want to buy a pool for your rental house, consider renting a house inside of a pool. For just a small fee, you can rent a space inside of the AFC locker room year-round. Sure, this space happens to be the size of a locker. Okay, it is a locker — but don't be dissuaded. A property the size of such a gym locker would go for $1500 in New York City. The Charlottesville rental market is a privilege in comparison.

7. Turn fall break into an "abridged beach week"

If you've ever experienced beach week, than you've experienced true summer. You made it to Miami, Myrtle or — if you're cheap like me and my friends — the hopping, nightlife-full town of Corolla, North Carolina, and enjoyed a week of sun-kissed bliss. Rather than wait until spring break to hop back on the beach week train, take advantage of the lovely, mid-October, four-day Fall Break and make your way down to Mexico. While the colder temperatures may initially seem like a downside, think about how empty the beaches will be!

8. Sleep in ’til noon every day

Full disclosure in the interest of journalistic integrity — I do not sleep in. Biologically, I simply cannot. The latest I had slept in this entire summer was 8:30 a.m. But for people more fortunate than myself, I imagine a key part of summer is the ability to sleep half the day away, skip a delicious breakfast because it was already lunchtime by the time you woke up, accomplish absolutely nothing with your day because you slept through half of it and go to bed in order to repeat the cycle time and time again. If you can't tell, I'm a bit bitter about my poor sleeping genes. 

9. Never do any assignments

Hail Mary option here. You don't want to mess with your Google calendar, you live in an apartment so the inflatable pool isn't an option, your skin crawls when you say the word “dude” — dude, you have nothing left to lose. Except your GPA. What I truly love about summer isn't the weather or the pool or the sleep — it's the freedom … from homework, tests and papers. But here’s the truth — as long as you don't do any of those things, you can maintain that summer freedom year-round. Sure, your GPA will suffer, but your summer vibes will thrive. Just make sure your parents can't access your grades. 

10. Be thankful for Virginia humidity

If you aren't willing to completely tank your GPA to maintain the feeling of summer, just step outside. Charlottesville's humidity will keep the air temperature summer-esque well into October. If you close your eyes and tune out the sounds of your friend whining about that biology midterm, it will feel just like you're on the beach in Cancun.

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