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CURRAN: Fourth-years — it’s okay to be sad

With all of the changes put forth by the University, it may feel like you lost the chance to say goodbye

<p>To say that we’ve had an eventful four years at the University is an understatement.</p>

To say that we’ve had an eventful four years at the University is an understatement.

I, like many others, have turned to writing as a way to try and process the events of the last few weeks. Since the announcements from the University about changes due to COVID-19, students at the University — particularly fourth-years — have been greatly affected. Classes have all been moved online, University activities and athletics suspended and now we’ve had our Final Exercises canceled as planned. Fourth-year students have lost their final few weeks at the University, unable to properly say goodbye to the place they have called home for years. 

Throughout this tumultuous time, I’ve found myself confronted with countless feelings that I’ve struggled to process — sadness, confusion and grief have all appeared at one point or another, frequently accompanied by a sense of having been cheated. These feelings have in turn left me feeling guilty — I know the course of action being taken by the University is a safe one, and the one most necessary if we are to try and keep the public healthy amidst this pandemic. Despite that, I am completely devastated at all that’s been lost with these cancellations. 

To say that we’ve had an eventful four years at the University is an understatement. Together, we’ve experienced unprecedented difficulties and achieved incredible successes. From the moment we stepped onto Grounds, we had to learn how to band together against hate speech written on dorm doors. Together, we had to learn how to deal with the fallout from the tragic events of Aug. 11 and 12. Together, we’ve had to speak up against injustices within our own University community and the surrounding Charlottesville community. Together, we have fought countless battles in the world around us, and together we’ve grown from them.  

Now, in addition to all that we’ve already experienced, many final, grand send-offs have been stripped away from us. Many of us are in a number of CIOs and organizations on or around Grounds centered around causes that we feel strongly about. Many of those organizations have annual events, formals, traditions or farewell ceremonies that typically take place in the spring. A majority of these events will no longer be taking place. Any feelings of hurt or loss that you are experiencing as a result of these sudden changes are completely valid. For many of us, we’ve used these events as a time to send off those who graduated before us, looking forward to the day when our time within our chosen families was to be celebrated. After having dedicated countless hours towards causes you care about, it’s only fair that you get the chance to be recognized for what you’ve achieved.

Looking back, I am so proud of what our class has accomplished — throughout our undergraduate careers, countless student leaders have stepped up, working to create lasting change at the University, and we’ve been lucky enough to see many of their efforts come to fruition. We’ve seen social movements begin, we’ve seen magnificent art produced and we’ve constantly challenged both our administration and each other to be better people, and to work towards improving the well-being of every member of our student body. The students I’ve had the privilege to meet while at the University have constantly pushed me to think differently, to reflect upon difficult experiences and to encourage growth and change within both myself and the world around me.  

It is this loss that I’ve found myself grieving the most over these past few days — the loss of the students who have helped me grow. I, like many others, have been lucky enough to find and befriend some truly remarkable people while at the University. I’ve met individuals who have educated me on topics that matter, who set examples of leadership, who constantly fight for what they believe in and who teach me how to be a better version of myself. It is these people that I was most looking forward to being with during my last few weeks in Charlottesville. It is these people who I expected would make up my final, golden college memories. But instead, I find myself worrying about when I’ll get to see them again, or if the goodbyes we said before spring break were for good. 

As I see so many others dealing with similar feelings of loss and uncertainty, I find that it is important to recognize the validity of these feelings. No one could have predicted that our college careers would come to such a sudden close, and you are justified in being disappointed, upset or grief-stricken. Do not bottle these feelings up — voice them. It is important for us to recognize these feelings, and to allow them to find their place within the makeup of our individual selves. 

So, as you go through this emotional time, remember all that you’ve been through. Remember all that you have fought to overcome. Remember your triumphs, your failures and everything in between. Most importantly, remember those who stood beside you throughout it all. Remember what they taught you, and remember that they’ll always be there for you. You are resilient, and you will make it through this as you have already made it through countless other difficult experiences.

But for now, it is okay to be sad.

Tyler Curran graduated from the College in 2019 and is a current graduate student in the Curry School of Education and Human Development.

The opinions expressed in this column are not necessarily those of The Cavalier Daily. Columns represent the views of the authors alone.

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