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(03/26/24 4:05pm)
In the hallowed halls of academia lies a sacred sanctuary once cursed with a name students feared to utter. Now, after battles between beneficiaries, the spell has lifted and the educational establishment has been blessed with the name Shannon Library. These hallowed halls are whispered about in reverent tones and hailed as a bastion of knowledge, a haven for learning and, for some, a refuge from the cacophony of life on Grounds. But what happens when the grandeur promised by legends falls short? What happens when high expectations crash to displeasure and dissatisfaction? Join me, fellow traveler, on a whimsical odyssey through the Shannon Library, where anticipation turns to befuddlement, as we walk through the disappointment of the newly renovated and renamed University library.
(02/14/24 8:25am)
Editor’s Note: This article is a humor column.
(12/06/23 7:42pm)
Ah, finals season — that delightful time of year when sleep becomes a distant memory, caffeine runs through your veins like a second circulatory system, and the library feels like your second home. While it may seem like a never-ending battle, there are some surprisingly funny things to look forward to while you're deep in the trenches of finals fiasco madness.
(11/28/23 2:12am)
Have you ever been so smitten that you accidentally walked into a pole, or tripped over your feet? Just asking for a friend. If your answer is yes, then welcome aboard the bonkers train of the Crush-o-Meter — the unofficial yet totally relatable guide to the zany stages of having a crush. However, if you answered no, you should also keep reading. Chances are you will possibly develop a crush sometime in your life. So, buckle up and hold on to your rose-tinted glasses — we are diving in!
(11/04/23 1:00pm)
You knew you came to college to suff — er, I mean learn, discover, expand your knowledge, broaden your horizons, blah, blah and blah. However, you never knew that you were also here to interpret cryptic messages from your professors. Similar to anthropologists decoding ancient scripts, college students have for ages tried to fathom the true meanings behind certain oft-repeated phrases. But anyways, enough focus on the past, let's focus on your future with professors. Buckle up and let's crack open these codes.
(11/08/23 2:02pm)
You’ve seen them, I’ve seen them, and maybe you have even been attacked by them. However, in a surprising move, the University has announced that it will be replacing its beloved Cavalier mascot with squirrels. The decision to replace the majestic — yet slightly terrifying — CavMan with just three live tree rats is what some might call crazy. Others refer to the change as progressive. However, replacing CavMan with bootleg versions of Alvin and the chipmunks is not going to make us win a football game.
(10/19/23 10:10pm)
The Veo — it is every college student's magic carpet, minus the singing and flying. You see them everywhere in Charlottesville. They are our equivalent of the Hogwarts broomstick. But as everyone quickly learns, mastering a Veo? Not as easy as it looks. It's all fun and games until you're trying to dodge squirrels while texting. Any regular Veo user knows there is a fine line between making your 8 a.m. and becoming a contestant on “Wipeout.”
(05/27/23 12:22am)
No one actually specified how quickly first year would pass — everyone just said it does. Hoo knew it would be so fast? Here are some of the things I am saying goodbye to now that I am about to be a second-year student. My top five first-year farewells will either make you cry, or laugh so hard you won't notice that you are crying.
(04/25/23 2:28am)
If you’re like me, you have been rigorously binge-watching shows, hanging out with friends and traveling great distances from your bed to your TV — or maybe even to the dining hall — throughout the past few weekends. Or perhaps you’ve been visiting restaurants and enjoying the night life. For all of us — come on, let’s be real — reality has finally caught up, and the immense amount of work we were supposed to catch up on before the start of finals but obviously didn’t has finally come to haunt us. To those heroic Hoos going through it, here are some helpful steps to tackle your procrastination — especially the work you are supposed to be doing right now instead of reading this article. If you follow these steps to a T, then you might even have time to squeeze in a nap and get in a semblance of the heavenly amount of sleep you’re probably going to mourn before the start of finals season.