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One poorly formatted email from Dean Allen Groves can change everything. Every year, Housing and Residence Life successfully exploits their student laborers into processing hundreds of Lawn applications, and yours stuck out — you’re going to be on The Lawn next year! Congratulations! As I sit in my rocking chair and listen to the dull roar of ramp construction, I figured I would share some of the lessons I’ve learned over my time living on this illustrious academical turf. Follow my advice and next year you’ll peak in college.
I woke up last Tuesday morning ready for the best day of my life. It was no ordinary Tuesday — it was the First Day of Classes! I was ready for the fresh, the new, the exciting. Today, I would do everything for the first time of the year. I smiled at the ceiling for a while before rolling over to grab my phone and check Facebook. That’s when my world crumbled around me.
Plot I-4 of the Foxfield Races, 2 p.m. — the scene of the crime. There was rampant underage drinking, a few ounces of illicit substances and several people in need of medical attention. There was also me, trying to back up my car so that I could leave.
‘Twas the moment of LOTL and all down the Lawn
I saw something in the news recently and want to share my reaction. I’ll begin with a quick summary of the event, peppered with loaded words. Instead of just describing what happened, I’ll insinuate that the other side was quick to judge and failed to understand the complexity of the situation, a complexity which I, as an undergraduate student, appreciate in full.
Once upon a time, in a land far, far away, there lived a pretty chill girl named Snow Wahoo. In fact, she was the chillest girl in all the land. This was due to the fact that she worked hard and played hard, and this unique combination won her fame and fortune across the kingdom. But, as always, evil was afoot. The Teched Witch, petty and bitter, tempted Snow with a poisoned Bold Rock. Luckily, Snow swerved her in time and ran into the woods. At some point there was a magical mirror. I don’t really know. I forget the story. The point is, she soon met the Four Breaks, each with their own mischievous quirks.
We’ve all been there: you’re paying for a bag of chips and want to get the most out of your 20 seconds of interaction with the cashier. Maybe you’re interviewing for a job and need to demonstrate your interpersonal skills. You might be looking to connect with a significant other on a deeper level. Well, 100 percent of the person whom I surveyed said that when they need to pump up a conversation they simply turn to a comment on the weather to break the ice.
I. “Hey. How’s it — oh, we’re hugging? Alright. Good to see you. I’m doing well. Can you not ruffle my hair, please? I hate static shock.
Hey! How’s it going?