Top 10 Green Things
1) Green M&M’s
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1) Green M&M’s
1. Bliss
1. Tinder
1. Tony Bennett
1. Syllabus Week
You go abroad with this false hope, this foolish longing that someone will hit a pause button when your plane takes off and life at school won’t continue without you. That you’ll go back and everything will be just the same as you left it.
1. Sing Christmas carols
The Spice Girls were prematurely on to something with their song “Spice Up Your Life.” Sure, maybe they were talking about adding some pep into their dance parties, but roll with my creative liberty here. Pretend they were talking about the ginger-nutmeg-cinnamon-allspice combo — almost as hot as Victoria Beckham herself — and shaking said combo to the left.
1. Eat vegetables
1. The nervous traveler
1. Roommates
1. The Fluent Italian Student
1. Ice For reasons unbeknownst to me, Italians seem to like their water lukewarm. Though gelato works wonders as a cold replacement, I’m less enthused about the idea of my overconsumption of the treat turning me into a blueberry à la Violet Beauregarde of Willy Wonka’s chocolate factory.
1. Be nice to your parents Sure, they may be embarrassing and totally shatter that cool-kid façade you were hoping to display to everyone on your floor, but have you ever tried to put on a duvet cover by yourself? Or single-handedly lifted up your bed to put it on risers? Not the easiest thing to do. Just smile and go along with it when they inevitably think the “You’ll probably never use it, but we’ll move it” Greeters T-shirts are the funniest things they’ve seen since “Get Smart.”
1. Refer to every grassy area as Grounds I’m allergic to the word “campus.” I’m not one of those people who will overtly correct you if you happen to utter it, but know I’m scowling on the inside and any chance you had at dating me will forever be just a dream. If anyone tries to call you pretentious for saying that, point at the ground and ask them if it looks like a campus to them. No, it looks like a ground, so Hoo looks stupid now? Because many of us will be working in New York City this summer, let the movement start here to refer to Central Park as Central Grounds, 2.0.
1. Lilly Pulitzer No, it is not your Aristocrat-influenced eyes playing tricks on you — there really are six girls within a 10-foot radius wearing the same dress. Unlike at your high school prom, though, this is not a complete fashion disaster — instead, a Barbour-esque display of wardrobe choice. (Disclaimer: I own a Barbour. I’m also from New York, and thus have a cynical and hateful view of color.)
1. The Rotunda-gram I firmly believe that in accepting your admission to the University, you are subject to a few unspoken rules. One: to pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of Thomas Jefferson. Two: to never speak ill of a Gusburger. And three: to Instagram the Rotunda at least 14 times before graduating. One must use every single filter in existence — both on Instagram and Snapchat — as well as capture it during each seasonal occasion, be it Lighting of the Lawn or #CAValanche. It is a rite of passage for University students and you’re basically guaranteed upwards of 20 likes. Because Hoo doesn’t like to brag about some UNESCO World Heritage site architecture?
1. The know-it-all Did you know 34.5 percent of 14-seeded teams which score more than 4 points in the first 2 minutes and 46 seconds of the second half win 54 percent of their games if they’re wearing the color orange and the third quarter starts no later than 5:12 p.m.? No, we probably didn’t because a) who in their right mind knows that? and b) you definitely made that up. Don’t try to ask these know-it-alls a simple question — an innocent query about the current score will most likely lead to an unwelcomed set of predictions about the projected 2020 NBA Draft order and a detailed analysis of what your mother ate for lunch yesterday.
1. I’m going home (NoVa edition)
1. The FOMO (Fear of Missing Out) studier Instagram upload, 9:18 p.m., Saturday night. Empty Clemons cubicles. Attempted ironic geotag: “Clemons > Trinity.” Caption: “Saturday night rager! Party hat emoji, beer emoji, sad face emoji. Twitter post, 10:23 p.m., with a link to previously posted Instagram, with the intention that those who don’t follow you on Instagram but do on Twitter will then be able to see how much “raging” you’re doing in the library. The most telling sign that the FOMO has gotten the best of someone? The “omg I got hacked I looooove my best friend Beth so much like this status if you think I’m so pretty!!!!” Facebook status. We all know you left your Facebook open “by accident” on your friend’s computer just so she’d post something to make it look like you weren’t alone.