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Top 10 U.Va. Spring Break Destinations

1. I’m going home (NoVa edition)

Most often accompanied by a resigned sigh, then the sudden realization that no one has responded to any of your 10 posts in the “Hoo’s Driving? Hoo’s Riding?” Facebook group. As is the case with most trips home, Spring Break will probably be filled with some puppy-cuddling and deep contemplation about how to attend to all obligations from the comfort of your childhood bed. Common activities also include convincing your parents to take you out to every restaurant within a 20-mile radius of your house because you’re just so tired of “cooking for yourself.” Though “cooking for yourself” can include ordering from various takeout spots on the Corner, what your parents don’t know won’t kill them.

2. I’m going home (out-of-state edition)

This is very similar to the “I’m going home (NoVa edition),” with two key distinctions. Replace the frantic “Hoo’s Driving?” post with the frantic, “I’m going to personally find a plane and fly it from the Charlottesville airport because there are never any flights to anywhere ever” sentiments. Three days later and with about one-fifth of your sanity left, you’ve made it home and are reconsidering ever leaving your bed again. Next, replace the “cooking for yourself” rationale with the rationale that nothing in Charlottesville could ever compare to the New York bagel or the Idaho potato or the California kale smoothie or the Texas barbeque.

3. Some exotic beach somewhere

If this is you, I envy you. Nothing like a tan (burn) and some beach time to get your mind off school and convert your skin to the color of something darker than a snowman. It’s a scientific fact that the warmer the weather, the better your liver works, so feel free to channel your inner Snooki and live life like beach week came early. Though the amount of pictures you post of your super fun trip is directly proportional to the amount of actual fun you’re having, be careful not to post anything too incriminating. It’s all fun and games until that fake Facebook your big made you puts those pictures on everyone’s News Feed — you won’t “omg love your big sooooo much” anymore.

4. Europe

Europe: the site of the peak of Lizzie McGuire’s love life, the place of plentiful food Instagram opportunities and a glorious continent on Earth where it’s encouraged to incorporate naptime into an adult’s day. If visiting Europe is in your plans for Spring Break, consider this column an open plea to fit me in your suitcase and drag me around with you. I promise I don’t bite and am a generally good time when I’m not hungry.

5. ROAAAADTRIPPPP!

This can never be said at a normal volume. It must be yelled with each and every syllable drawn out. This option requires having a friend willing to tolerate sitting next to you for upwards of 12 hours a day. There’s no company but each other, some off-key singing and empty Chick-Fil-A boxes. If I were this friend, I’d find a book on how to be less enthusiastic and to stop screaming all the time and gift it to the enthused roadtripper. But I’m from New York and don’t tolerate happiness very well.

6. Staying in Charlottesville

Bold yet surprisingly common, the Charlottesville Spring-Breaker is often the one who appreciates the scene at Trinity at around 9:30 at night. As in, the entire Corner being empty save for a few middle-aged men and a group of five-foot-tall grad students who are about to go back to working on their really important theses.

7. Going skiing

The operative word in “Spring Break” for me is spring. To those who clearly don’t share my sentiments, the beginning of March is generally the last time to enjoy some natural snow on the slopes. I can’t say I really relate to any of you, but I’ve heard real powder will always be better than any man-made snow. Take advantage of the last few weeks of quality skiing, or as I’d put it, an athletic rationale to drink hot chocolate.

8. Service trip

Whether staying domestic or going abroad, it seems like a very large amount of University students are forgoing a more traditional Spring Break for the chance to participate in giving back and helping communities in need. The Alternative Spring Break-er will always comes back with two things: an irreversible farmer’s tan and a profile picture with a small child.

9. Visiting friends at another school

For whatever reason, it seems like none of my friends from home ever have the same breaks as I do. As glad as I am to see my friends, it’s pretty obvious that no school will ever compare to the University. Things I take for granted here: everything is in walking distance, the abundance of food available past 2 a.m. (new Basil delivery menu, anyone?), an overall high level of intelligence across the student body and the assumption that we will always be better than anyone at everything.

10. “I have no idea, stop talking to me, I have three tests this week”

Arguably the most common answer. Because who can plan a real vacation when the only plausible vacation you can take at this point is leaving the Alderman Stacks to get a coffee from Greenberry’s? Snow days are fun until all your tests and papers are due on the same day and you realize the closest you’re ever going to get to swimming at the beach is bathing in the rapidly growing puddle of your salty tears.

Correction: The sentences “But this is just my judging based off the sheer number of “Alternative Spring Break Bar Night” Facebook event invites I’ve received. But hey, flights are expensive and I see no downside to helping support my classmates in giving back.” have been removed from this article. ASB does not hold bar nights.

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