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(11/29/18 10:03pm)
Before I begin, I feels important to note that I am not an athlete. Well, that’s not entirely true. In high school I was a member of various sporting teams, but here at the University of Virginia, I do not maintain the high honor that is walking around with a Nike backpack emblazoned with my last name and favorite sport. I must admit, however, being a civilian does have some perks. For one, I am not forced to wear sweatpants all hours of the day, and I get to sign up later than most for my classes for next semester, making my decisions easier as the classes I can’t decide between are now all filled. Another perk is found in means of transportation. As a civilian student, I am not forced to risk my life riding a moped around Grounds at breakneck speed. I am provided the far safer option to walk on the sidewalk at a responsible pace, or the far healthier option to ride my manual bicycle uphill both ways to and from class.
(10/23/18 2:22am)
Fall break is a bit of an enigma in and of itself. Here at the University, professors continue to call this period “Reading Days,” maintaining some hope that the student body is going out of their way to practice some level of literacy over a four day period. Yet, only the few and the proud choose to crack a book. As a result, many students make it their prerogative to either go home for the long weekend or to find some iteration of watching Netflix in bed for 96 hours straight. I myself took to the highway. I was generously offered a weekend trip home with a native of the Richmond area, and I jumped at the opportunity for a couple of reasons. For one, I have heard that Richmond is the closest urban center, and, being from the Boston area, I tend to long for urine-scented asphalt from time to time. More importantly however, I wanted to go to Richmond over fall break because it was the final weekend of the Virginia State Fair.
(07/24/18 4:14am)
Before I begin, I must admit that I am not your average New Englander. Although I hail from a suburb of Boston and according to legend was born in a blizzard somewhere in Connecticut, I have always hated the cold. I was routinely mystified by my classmates in high school who wore shorts and flip flops throughout the annual ice age in New England known as February. In this sense, one of U.Va.’s most influential selling points to me was the fact that on the day in March when I toured, the sun was actually shining, there was a baseball game occurring unobstructed by snow conditions, and the temperature was somehow above freezing. In short, I am one of the least “hearty” New Englanders you will meet.
(04/27/18 2:08am)
“Hey Hey! Ho Ho! Give Us Guns and Then We’ll Go! Hey Hey! Ho Ho! … ”
(02/15/18 7:02am)
Suddenly, I awoke in a cold sweat. It was three in the morning on a Thursday and my recurring nightmare had recurred. Wide awake and thoroughly startled, I glanced at my unresponsive roommate, and, finding no solace there, decided to write down the details of my dream in the hopes of finding some closure.
(02/01/18 7:32am)
We’ve all been there before. You just binged the entirety of “The Office” for the eighth time. The dumpling truck was breakfast, lunch and dinner for the past three and a half days. You got a cramp just from pushing the button for the elevator, and you think that whenever someone says “Rotunda,” they are talking about you. It is time for a run to preserve what’s left of your dignity.
(01/23/18 4:09am)
It was like any other Tuesday morning — my roommate did not exert himself until his first class at noon, leaving me once again to resist the urge to ignore my 8:00 a.m. and drop out of school. My one solace that manages to get my feet moving each morning is that when I reach the bathroom of our hall, the other local species will be stumbling about, well on their way to fulfilling their dreams in their 8:00 a.m. Calculus class.
(09/05/17 3:53am)
On Sept. 4 at 4:00 p.m., Trump’s communications team led by God-knows-who at this point formally announced that all domestic and foreign issues will be dealt with next month. This of course being due to the fact that President Donald Trump plans to fight undefeated world champion Floyd Mayweather in the boxing ring.