Below is a retelling of actual events within the private residence of The White House at 6:15 a.m.
To all five of the people who regularly read this page: hello. My name is Brennan Lee, and I am the new editor for the Humor section here at The Cavalier Daily.
You know who’s nominated. You know who’s hosting. You think you know who the winners will be.
His tiny sleeves tore from the force within: the force of the toddlers’ rippling muscles, the bodybuilder of a baby they created.
I would say sorry, but I’m sure you understand. It’s finals.
Okay, it’s been a few weeks. We can talk about it now, right? We’ve taken time to mourn, and now we all walk into the nearest bookstore and pick up our copies of, “So, Your Next President Is A Total Bigot.” In your post-election turmoil, you might be wondering: What do we do now?
We need to stop jinxing the Mona Lisa
I have only spent a few months getting acclimated to the new environment on "Grounds" amongst my fellow "hoos" as a "first-year." I get it; as someone so new to the college education system, my opinion doesn't hold much value, and I really ought to just zip it and defer to the upperclassmen.
The other day, I had to go get a flu shot. Plagued by a lifelong fear of needles, I was not too keen on this idea, but my mom said I had to do it, and as with all children and their mothers, I am pretty scared of her.
Nov. 9, 2016 8 a.m.: Today will be my first day back in civilization in six years. Since the day I graduated from college, I have been living on my own in the wilderness.
All of the loud, elephantine, seemingly endless Trump supporters, I need you to shut up
It’s stupidly easy to influence kids.
I will admit it is easy to put a vampire costume together. All I needed was a slinky black dress, a cape and fake teeth.
Quit being racist. Seriously. Stop it. Freaking cut it out.
There’s so much exciting new Drake out there right now. Go forth and enjoy all of it.
My fellow Americans, the time is nearly upon us. Every four years, our nation comes together to elect our next president.
Dear Board of Visitors, How have you been? Good! How’s the wife? Good! How’s the coal plant?
One of the most surprising discoveries of this election is that we as a country are far more polarized than we ever cared to admit.
We recently learned a lot of scary stuff about Donald Trump. As a writer, that sentence has grown comfortable and familiar, like a nice sweater you can cozy up in.
Think you know the best places for recent college graduates?
