Humor
Corporate Advice: Cubicle Your Brain
By Brennan Lee | August 22, 2017And number two: Turn off your brain.
Serving the University Community Since 1890
And number two: Turn off your brain.
Historians believe this nickname has been in use since the time of cavemen, and many of the bespectacled among us have no doubt been teased with this brutal nomenclature.
While the song has already proved itself to be the song of the summer, DJ Khaled seemed confident that his upcoming projects would certainly outshine his most recent release.
If you ever need me postgrad, you know how to reach me, though it’s unlikely I’ll be able to hear you over the sound of how well I’m doing.
Nucular is just not a word, and I can be silent no longer. This is a national issue, one that I will fight tirelessly, until I get tired, and then I’ll probably let it go.
In that case, crush up some Claritin and let’s get weird! It’s springtime, baby!
I am a privileged person, and the privilege and naiveté of those in favor of the statue baffle me.
Once upon a time, in a land far, far away, there lived a pretty chill girl named Snow Wahoo. In fact, she was the chillest girl in all the land.
Ultimately, even though this is unrecognized financial genius, it looks like he will never be able to carry out my plan.
What if I had just gotten dumped and was trying to get over my ex by listening to an empowering break-up playlist, only to be accosted by the selfie of him and I that I just had deleted from my Facebook?
I don’t smile with my tongue anymore. I threw away my Burt’s Bee medicated lip balm. My lips are so chapped.
If you send multiple texts in a row, then how can I know for sure that the beginning of the next text is a separate thought and not an extension of the previous sentence?
Now I’m going to beg. I’m not proud of it, but it needs to happen and I’m the only one with low enough self esteem.
I never used to want to be president. It always seemed like a lot of work.
In any case, I suspected I might now find myself in trouble with the IRS.
I know this is a good school, but can we agree that no one here can offer a fresh, never-before-seen take on a congressional bill?
You dash out of the room, dreams of pumpkin muffins and apple crumble supplanting your previous concern that your professor’s body has been replaced by food.
My great-grandmother (“Mom Dondero,” as we referred to her as) was a shrewd woman.
Like most people, I google “Dolly Parton” about three times a week just to check up on my favorite country musician.
All of us know what it’s like to have neighbors. They always seem to want something from you — and nine times out of 10, what they want is for you to feed their pesky felines when they’re out of town.
