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The power of a phone call

Learning to love one of my biggest fears

The office was silent, save for the sound of clicking keyboards. I felt my coworkers’ presences looming all around me in our tight working space. They were waiting for me to fumble a word, ask a stupid question or say something that wasn’t true.

I stared at the list of questions I was going to ask during the phone interview, waiting for the slightest increase in background noise. Maybe someone would need to use the Keurig. In the best case scenario, someone would start up a conversation near me and diffuse the quiet. As soon as that happened, I would seize the moment, pick up the phone and dial. An answering machine sometimes granted me a temporary reprieve, but anxiety still ensued regardless because I knew I’d be on the receiving end of a return call.

As an introvert who already thinks carefully before she speaks, phone calls often stress me out. Even ordering pizza can give me butterflies. But this summer when I was interning at a magazine and relying largely on phone conversations to get information, I had to face that fear.

Phone calls, especially with people I don’t know, are unpredictable. I don’t know what the other person will say, and I can have a mental panic attack if they catch me off guard. Don’t ask about what it is like being on the other side of a phone interview — in this case, at least I can be grateful I was the one asking the questions.

After months of these sorts of anxiety-ridden phone interactions, I started to get more used to it. I realized it was a whole lot easier just to pick up the phone and talk to someone than it is to scour a website for information or send him or her an email, which would require five more follow up emails.

I can’t say I ever got completely comfortable with having to make professional phone calls within earshot of my more experienced colleagues, but it did make me less afraid to make phone calls when there is less at stake.

Calling to see when a store is open? Easy. Calling to order pizza? I’ll probably know the answer to, “thin or thick crust?” Calling a friend? Delightful.

After the first day of classes, I wanted to talk to my friend (who graduated last year) about how things went, tell her I miss her and hear how it felt to be away while all of us were starting back up at the University. Luckily, this friend is also a fan of phone calls and had made me promise to call her, so I did. Hearing her voice and interacting with her — without having to use blue bubbles with words in them — was a blessing.

Now, I actually wish it were practical or socially acceptable to call everyone I want to talk to. While a lot of times sending a text does make more sense, I am going to challenge myself to favor phone calls whenever possible.

Phone calls allow us to have more fully human interactions — we can hear when there is a hesitation, a real laugh or excitement in the other person’s voice. We can forget to respond to a text we get while we’re doing five other things, but you won’t forget to respond to the voice in your ear. So, while I sometimes fear sounding imperfect to the person on the other end of the phone, I have come to realize that we should embrace this imperfection for the sake of having more genuine interactions.

Kelly’s column runs biweekly Tuesdays. She can be reached at k.seegers@cavalierdaily.com.

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