With 2025 shockingly wrapping up, the last six weeks have become a race to nail the resolutions I made back in January. Solidcore classes are seeing me make regular appearances, and I have just now begun to force the habit of meal-prepping each Sunday instead of ordering-in come the middle of the week. Above all, I’ve cracked down on the mental goals I had aimed to achieve, like defeating imposter syndrome and practicing more patience. But despite all the scrambling and reflecting, I know that I have still not adhered to my big resolution of the year — to stop living on a countdown.
For those of us in long-distance relationships, this habit is particularly familiar. As my boyfriend and I are in year three of long-distance dating — and I mean Syracuse-to-Virginia long distance — there is rarely a time when we are not counting down weeks until we next see each other. In long-distance relationships, couples quickly realize that mapping out when to next see each other is not just an expression of excitement, but actually causes us to develop a mindset of scheduling happiness.
As third year seems to be flying by, however, this countdown mindset seriously has me thinking about how the constant long-distance countdown may actually be affecting how I experience my time at school. Of course, letting in a healthy amount of long-distance yearning is good because it acts as a reminder of the great love I’m lucky enough to have. But is constantly counting down the days until I see my boyfriend making it impossible for me to be present here at the University? Sometimes, I think the answer is yes.
Distance completely rearranges the emotional pacing of a relationship. Instead of casual study dates and Bodo’s trips before class, long-distance partners dance to a stop-and-go rhythm. For weeks, we essentially live separate lives, only punctuated by the occasional weekend visit and holiday breaks. When we text or speak over the phone, we both constantly iterate how much we miss each other, turning our everyday conversations into perpetual yearning.
This constant benchmarking of my college experience has often taken me out of the moment. On nights out, I can’t help but let the number of days until I can just be watching a movie with my boyfriend instead of standing in a frat basement linger in my head. When the day ends, my habitual thought is that another day has been crossed off of the calendar until I will be going to sleep next to him. These little instances have worked to displace my appreciation for the environment I am in at a given time and have, in full transparency, made it difficult to grow outside of a ticking clock.
But despite these personal concerns, the countdown gives me structure that collegiate life sometimes lacks. For me, I tend to take things in weekly chunks, phrasing our time apart as “only five Fridays.” This lets the passing of each Friday until I see him feel like I’m inching towards a bit of a reward.
It can be especially hard to not compare myself to my “untethered” single or non-long-distance friends, as they seem to be able to move in a smoother rhythm of collegiate life. But what the countdown does allow me to do is tackle hurdles like getting through a big exam knowing I will see my boyfriend a few days after. Surprisingly, this has duly tackled my homesickness and has given me a greater appreciation for the town I begged to be out of years ago.
Most importantly, however, being on a countdown lets me recognize the importance of the little moments my boyfriend and I share like the reunion hugs, the quiet nights in and how much distance truly does make the heart grow fonder.
But beyond the creature comforts that are semi-soothed by the promise of seeing my boyfriend soon, I need to appreciate the gift of personal growth and independent experience that I am allowed in a long-distance relationship. Remaining present with myself should not be at the cost of counting down days.
Considering it all, my resolution to stop living on a countdown needs to be amended. The countdown itself can remain welcoming in the rhythm and structure it gives, but my removal from the present moment I am experiencing has to go. Long-distance relationships are a unique way to experience your time in college, but they are overwhelmingly worth it with the personal growth they afford you if you take the right steps to be present with yourself.
Read More
Wait, who’s making the reservation?
By Madigan Wirkus | December 22, 2025Where I see my left-brained nature most is my consistent role as the date-planner.
Who gets to date at the University?
By Anna Stamey | December 20, 2025At the University, dating is not only about attraction — it is also about access
Do it alone
By Elizabeth Adams | December 10, 2025As a first-year student adjusting to college life, I realized that although I was constantly surrounded by people, there were often circumstances where I was very much on my own.
