No more jokes

To all five of the people who regularly read this page: hello. My name is Brennan Lee, and I am the new editor for the Humor section here at The Cavalier Daily. If you’re wondering who the old editor was, her name was Nancy-Wren, and yes, I am what you would call a “step-down” from her.

Some people believe Humor doesn’t really have a place in any legitimate news organization, and I do see the merit in that opinion. After all, our articles don’t necessarily report the facts of a story, and our objective isn’t necessarily to tell the truth or offer a serious opinion or perspective on an issue. At this point, you’re probably thinking, Wow, this guy makes a great point — he is a step down.

Often times, satirical or comedic news outlets are accused of having a blatantly liberal bias, or of using sarcasm as an excuse to mischaracterize facts, or of pushing the boundaries too far and offending more people than they amuse. Many would say that we’re better off not even trying to make people laugh than risking them calling us names on Twitter.

In light of all this, that is why there will be no more jokes within The Cavalier Daily.

Did you think that last line was a joke? Absolutely not. Knock it off, stop laughing, someone might be offended you’re having a better time than them. Sure, this page will be the “Humor section,” but only in name. Instead of parodies or humorous critiques, you’ll be served a dish of facts, and we’re serving them cold and hard.

Don’t you dare laugh at the word “hard.” I don’t mean we’re going to make concrete contact with you when we serve those facts, I mean it’s going to be direct and revelating. I swear, if you placed any kind of connotation on the word “hard,” then I’m personally outraged. Get your mind out of the gutter and back to this girthy article.

Make fun of the president? I think not; if he got his feelings hurt, how would I ever apologize to him — I don’t have his number, even if I do have his Twitter. Fake-break a fake story about fake people within the University? I don’t trust people to be able to understand it’s a joke, even if this is a community of trust. Come up with something original? Next thing you know someone reads the original piece and thinks: “Hey, I had the same idea, what a coincidence.” Forget about it.

It’s 2017, readers. If 2016 was the year of post-truth, then this is the year of post-fun. The law now is only laughable if everyone else is laughing. To the smart-alecs who read that and immediately thought “But if everyone is waiting for everyone else to laugh, then nobody will:” way to show up late to the party, that’s the point.

Everyone not offended? Good. I’ve done my job.

Brennan Lee is the Humor editor

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