Next time you desperately need to watch "Beverly Hills 90210," don't run home. Just stop by the Student Council office, relax and enjoy.
Student Council members had cable television installed in their workroom last week, sparking a swift reaction from all over the University community, including President John T. Casteen III.
"Actually, I plan to go over there on nights when I cannot find the remote control for the TV here at Carr's Hill," Casteen said.
"Not to allege that they're doing anything illegal, but unlike Student Council, we can't just siphon funds off the SAF," University Judiciary Committee Chairman Brian Hudak said during a telephone interview.
But, according to Student Activities Business Manager William Hancher, "Council decided to pay for [cable] out of their self-generated money."
Thus, Student Activity Fee money is not being used to fund this endeavor.
Carter Williams, Honor Committee vice chairman for investigations, said his Committee does not have cable television in their Newcomb Hall offices.
"I'm glad to hear that StudCo has cable. I think Council members could learn a lot about leadership from guys like Mr. T. and Papa Smurf," Williams said. "I just hope [Chief Financial Officer John] Finley isn't taking Appropriations lessons from Boss Hogg, he never allocated anything fairly."
Hudak said the UJC office does not have cable, and he speculated that Council stole the idea from The Cavalier Daily.
"I think The Cavalier Daily has set the precedent for having cable in their offices," he said. "Since it's every student organization's goal to be just like The Cavalier Daily, Council's following suit."
Cavalier Daily Editor-in-Chief Mike Greenwald declined to comment on Hudak's allegations, citing confidentiality rules.
But Larry J. Sabato, government and foreign affairs professor, said Council's cable addition could prove to be good politics.
"If some ambitious politicos want to grab some Council positions this fall, they should run on the 'No Cable TV Tax' slogan," Sabato said. "It worked for Gov. Gilmore."
Not to be outdone, Sabato said he also brought modern communications devices to the Council office when he was president.
"When I was president of Student Council, I had the first radio installed shortly after the device was invented-but I paid for it myself," he said. "We were frugal back then and would not have dreamed of wasting our fellow students' money by ordering cable TV, had there been such a thing."
Council Executive Vice President Ronnie Washington said the TV was purchased by last year's administration "in the hopes of getting Cinemax. Most of last year's administration didn't have girlfriends, so..."
Sabato agreed with Washington's logic.
"StudCo is often accused of being out of touch, so maybe watching 'The Real World' will help-although it will probably just encourage even more debilitating office romances," he said.
Jamey Thompson, Council vice president for organizations, said Council will not stop with basic cable.
"It's still up for a final vote, but it looks like we'll be getting premium channels," Thompson said. "We're also thinking about getting the Playboy channel."
"It's in the bag," Washington said.
The Student Council television, even without any premium channels, already has served its very valuable purpose.
Brock Jolly, Council vice president for administration, said he was able to watch Hulk Hogan and others duke it out Monday night from the comfort of his own office.
While all quotations are real, this article was designed for humor purposes only.
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