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Casual slurs harm closeted homosexuals

ON THE other side of the Blue Ridge Mountains, students at James Madison University are getting riled up about an alleged "hate crime." On March 17, a male student reportedly harassed and assaulted three members of the women's rugby team.

Why is this a hate crime? Before the incident, he apparently called the women "short spiky-haired dykes." The alleged attacker has asserted, "Nothing that happened had anything to do with hate" ("Hearing set for accused student," The Breeze, March 27). His father, in a letter to The Breeze, the JMU school newspaper, said that his son "could have cared less about [the women's] sexual orientation."

But this poses a distressing question: Why do tolerant people say intolerant things?

From a first-hand perspective, I can tell you that the University is a much more accepting place than it appears. Although I'm openly gay, I've had only one homophobic slur thrown at me this year. All of my friends, from fraternity brothers to ROTC cadets to members of the Christian Crusade for Christ, have been accepting of my sexuality.

To an openly gay person, the University is as tolerant a place as the next. But a closeted homosexual might have a more negative view of the environment here.

At the University, as with most high schools and colleges, "gay" and "faggot" are common derogatory terms. It sounds harmless, tossing off "that's so gay," or "quit being a fag." There's also the infamous "not gay" chant at football games. When many tolerant, heterosexual students say or hear these phrases, they don't seem that homophobic, primarily because they're not being used in a context antagonistic to gays.

But many closeted gay students interpret these remarks differently. When struggling with one's sexuality, a person is likely to look all around for signs of acceptance. A remark that might not seem offensive or isn't representative of one's attitude towards homosexuals can have unseen effects.

We can't really blame students for uttering remarks like these. In a community that might be perceived as less than tolerant towards gays, it's understandable that a straight male will feel uncomfortable singing about how "gay" he is during a football game without asserting his heterosexuality.

And right now, "faggot" is as common a slur as "nigger" was half a century ago. Most of the people who toss off "fag" or shout out "not gay" are as tolerant and accepting as one can be.

The problem is that closeted homosexuals have no real way of knowing how others might react to them "coming out." Anyone who hides something they're ashamed of will expectedly think that what they're covering up is extremely important. Think about it, if there was something significant about you that nobody else knew, wouldn't it be foremost on your mind?

The truth is that others' sexuality isn't a big deal to most students. Some people might think it's cool, and others may not. Some people might respect homosexuals, and others may judge them. But the bottom line is that most students have other things to worry about, and don't need to focus on other people's problems.

But perception never mirrors reality. For a closeted homosexual at the University, this accepting and understanding community can seem intolerant and downright hostile.

This is a bad thing for anyone who cares about the members of this community. In high schools and on college campuses, the suicide rates for gay and lesbian youth are disturbingly high. In an analysis of 12 published studies, an average of 30.5 percent of homosexual youth have attempted suicide (http://www.virtualcity.com/youthsuicide/news/studies.htm). Many closeted homosexuals live a life of shame, guilt and self-hatred. This is not the way anyone should feel here at the University.

There's no easy solution to this problem. At JMU, a 60-member group called "Stop the Hate" has formed in response to the attack. On Monday, many students at JMU walked out of class and then held a speak-out on the issue.

Many will call these acts overreactions and say that these students are liberals who crucify anyone who doesn't agree with their way of thinking. After all, just because he tossed off an anti-gay slur doesn't mean that he meant it.

But people should be aware of the consequences of their words. That young man might not have truly meant it when he called those girls "dykes". And many in the University community don't mean anything when they toss off "faggot" as an insult or shout "not gay." But that is little comfort to many gays who think the University a less friendly place than it really is.

(Brian Cook is a Cavalier Daily associate editor. He can be reached at bcook@cavalierdaily.com.)

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