The Cavalier Daily
Serving the University Community Since 1890

My last chance: IM softball's Solid Spank

Well, it's that time. With finals and term papers looming, and the cap and gown eyeing me ominously from the corner of my room, it's time for me to hang up my pen as a Cavalier Daily writer. I've had the opportunity to do some pretty cool things in my time in the basement. I've covered a Final Four (men's lacrosse, 2000), covered the dedication of the expansion of Scott Stadium and discussed the last days of George Welsh and the Pep Band. I've even had a certain well-established University coach that I've covered fairly extensively call me an idiot -- but without knowing that I was a writer or associating me with anything I ever wrote about her team. (Not that reading anything I ever wrote would change her mind.)

Despite my track record covering interesting sports -- and my equally impressive reputation for idiocy -- there are some things I haven't done at this University. I haven't won an intramural championship since I got here. And I've also never even mentioned intramural sports in this space. But at least one of those is about to change, and maybe both.

A little background: I'm a member of an intramural softball team, made up of a bunch of my friends from first year, which goes by the impossibly mature name of "Good Wood, Solid Spank." Maybe you've seen our shirts around grounds -- oddly enough, they're the one's that say "Spank" on them. I'm the tall guy with the faded shirt and the sketchy beard.

I've played sports with these guys since we came to school, and until this semester we were legendarily bad at just about everything. Actually, that's not true; some of the other guys did win several soccer championships, but I'm afraid I was (rightly) kept far away from that team. Our basketball teams tend to implode and let one guy do all of the scoring, and when we founded Spank last semester, we promptly went out and got slaughtered in every game. It was semi-pathetic, but we did look damn good while we were losing.

Then something happened this semester. Maybe it was the sense of impending unemployment, or possibly our ever-growing army of female fans at our games, which put us in a winning frame of mind. Either way, "Good Wood, Solid Spank" suddenly learned how to play softball. Six months after we were quite possibly the worst softball team ever to take the field, we found ourselves in the independent league semifinals. That's right, folks, the little team that couldn't suddenly saw the light and, you would think, is one of the top eight teams at this school.

By the time you read this column, Spank will have either advanced to the final four or tearfully ended its playoff run. I don't really care that it's not really news. I've been here for four years -- indulge me. Me and my boys can actually play a little ball, and I want to talk about it.

It's not like we're taking ourselves too seriously doing it, either. We haven't suddenly gained focus. Maybe hitting ability and a couple of key newcomers, but certainly not focus. We still pour out of the dugout and quote "Bad News Bears" every time our one power hitter, Rob, hits a home run. In fact, it was a little jarring after we won our second game of the day last week and my buddy Ryan turned around and said, "Hey, we can act like we've been here before." It provides an interesting contrast to Pete yelling, "Check that ball for urine, 'cause it got pissed on!"

It's still hard to act like we belong. After the miracle we pulled in our first-round game, scoring two runs on two plays at the plate when facing elimination, it's difficult not to be a little giddy. The reminder of that game is still there, in the form of the scraped leg my roommate Dusty got when he slid in with the winning run. So now that we're overcoming our losing history, we're having a little fun with it.

Last night's game is now in the books. Spank has either moved on to the next round of competition or moved on to the bars. Or possibly both. I hope that we still have some softball ahead of us as you all read this column. But no matter the result of our game against George Clinton's P-Funk All Stars, I've had the privilege of playing some pretty good softball with some pretty good friends, and I'd say we've had some fun doing it. Thanks for the memories, guys. It's been a great four years.

Comments

Latest Podcast

The University’s Associate Vice Provost for Enrollment and Undergraduate Admission, Greg Roberts, provides listeners with an insight into how the University conducts admissions and the legal subtleties regarding the possible end to the consideration of legacy status.



https://open.spotify.com/episode/02ZWcF1RlqBj7CXLfA49xt