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I'll miss you, censors

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There comes a time in every man's life when he has to move on. Since I have acted like a little boy for most of my life, I have only had to face this truth recently, most notably after my roommates forcibly burned my blankie in effigy. I'm pretty sure I'll get the last laugh: Blankie hasn't been washed in 20 years, which has a tendency to develop bacterial colonies so advanced that they engage in mercantilism. And my roommates sucked in the burn fumes.

Blankie aside, I have faced a similar dilemma with my Life columns. Life

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