It seems that the first few weeks of school are packed with orientations for new students, instructing them on all the ins and outs of interacting with the University and their fellow students. From activities to academics to those sometimes-volatile roommate situations, no subject is left untouched. By the end of the process, everyone knows what to expect from the University.
But what about the outside world? It doesn't naturally occur to anybody that undergraduates need to know how to interact with outsiders, but there's definitely a change in how you're perceived after this big transition from high school to college. Before, you were the meek high school student, but now, you are the "person at college," and this brings with it a whole new set of social conventions.
The first thing that one usually notices when interacting with adults, relatives, family friends, etc., is that they use different terminology. This can lead to some amusing exchanges. Are you a freshman? No. Sophomore? No. Junior? No. Senior? No. This is guaranteed to blow any non-University person's mind. It's generally good to give this a few seconds to sink in, then explain kindly that we use terms like "first year." This will often also elicit some comment about the Harry Potter novels, which you must laugh off, despite how insulted you are to be compared with an imaginary, emo teenage wizard. Politeness comes first.
The second most important question is, of course, what your major is. There's a certain irony that graduate schools and employers, in many cases, try to assure you that is doesn't matter what your undergraduate major is and yet this is what everybody wants to know. It's not that big of a deal, unless, like me, you're a second-semester second year who does not yet have a major. To accurately describe this situation, I recommend the term "journeyman" or saying that you are majoring in "Undergraduate Excellence" or faking a heart palpitation.
Of course, there's nothing wrong with people wanting to know what your major is. It's just that this too often leads to one being lampooned in frustrating ways. A classics major might have to explain that, no, he doesn't wear a toga all the time. An engineer might have to explain that, no, he doesn't have a pocket protector.
The major question does, however, pose an interesting opportunity for role-play (of the non-sketchy sort). This is your chance to be whatever major you want, since the person you're talking to is probably not going to remember the conversation for more than a few minutes. Lying, of course, is not very honorable, but people switch their majors so much at this age that saying you're astronomy when you're really English isn't so much lying as having "second thoughts."
It's fun to talk to people who aren't college studnets about what time you go to bed. College seems to turn all of us into crazy night owls, and getting to bed at 1 a.m. seems like a pretty good accomplishment most nights. This is horrifying to folks back home in the working world, most of whom turn into a pumpkin around 10 p.m. "How do you do it?" we are asked, as though we are physiological marvels who defy all reason. It's nice to get all this attention -- it feels like being an Olympic athlete or something. Nobody ever got this much attention just for sleeping. This does cause problems for families, unfortunately. The first time I came home from school and stayed up until 1 a.m. my parents thought the house was haunted.
Similarly, everybody wants to know if you've gained the "freshman 15" or not. If you haven't, it's a moment to proudly affirm that you've avoided this phenomenon. But if you have, then this becomes a painful reminder for you. This question shouldn't be allowed in polite conversation. Why can't people just judge us based on appearance and talk about us behind our backs? That would be the considerate thing to do here.
Despite the "culture gap" that has grown up between you and the world beyond the serpentine walls, enjoy your opportunities to share your experience with others. There's nothing quite so rewarding as encouraging the next generation of Wahoos to sign on with our positive feedback, and nothing quite as amusing as reassuring old alumni that their favorite haunt is still a den of debauchery. And relish the interest that others take in your life at this special stage; in several years you may be just another adult, but for now, you are the College Student. Wahoowa to that.
Matt's column runs biweekly on Tuesdays. He can be reached at waring@cavalierdaily.com
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