When people ask you what your favorite thing is about the University, what do you say? I get this question a lot from family and friends from other schools, and to me, the answer is immediately clear. It is not a heightened alcohol tolerance, though this obviously comes in a close second. And in all seriousness, we do not eagerly return from breaks to get back to class or to spend hours pouring over textbooks and staring blankly at laptop screens. The amazing friendships we make here are what dictate our college experience. Think about it: your friends are your family here. And as mentioned in my last column, there are definitely no parents.
When we move onto Grounds in the fall of our first year at the University, most of us initially cling to the people we live with because we have been flung together at random not knowing anyone. Friendship by living proximity can be risky, though I think it's rather eerie how housing fate forms friendships in college.
For example, I have had the best luck with roommates: I still live with my first-year roommate and a former suitemate. I have heard roommate horror stories, but usually once you choose who you live with, your roomies are like your brothers or sisters, and you have to love them even though sometimes they bug you, hog the living room television to watch "Law and Order" and blast whiny music.
They never clean your kitchen or take out the trash, but they'll listen to you recount your shameful actions from the night before, and you can count on their understanding. You can't help but love them for it.
Also, it's sort of frightening to think about how someone you meet in passing can become one of your closest friends.
One of my friends I used to know only slightly until a horrible discussion section brought us together as we lamented our mutual loathing of over-zealous, know-it-all classmates. And strangely enough, one of my best friends from second grade, who I hadn't seen in more than 10 years ended up living below me in my first-year dorm.
The fate, luck, divine intervention or what have you of how the people you meet here affect the core of your college experience calls to mind a scene in the series finale of "Sex and the City." Carrie tearfully asks her friends, "What if I never had met you?" This always gets me and forces me to ask a dozen "what if" questions that can never be answered. It only makes me appreciate how lucky I am to have stumbled upon awesome people and held onto their friendship.
Having different groups of friends at school is crucial because you never get bored. Of course, you have ones you party with. These are the friends who, once Friday (or Wednesday) rolls around, drag you out of the library to have a few drinks, end up encouraging you to have many drinks and walk you home even after you yell at them that you'll make it alone just fine. And then they pick you up after you fall into a prickly bush while trying not to laugh in your face and only take one or two embarrassing pictures.
And of course there are the ones you just chill out with. Ordering food and watching bad TV is a must with this group. A bunch of my friends and I watch Jack Bauer save the country every Monday night and mock the overly dramatic dialogue.
These friends are the really loud kids in the library who throw things at each other and embarrass you, while everyone sitting at tables around you looks on in disgust. But these guys make you laugh in the library at two in the morning, and how valuable to your sanity is that?
Making friends at work is also key, because having people to talk to makes the time go by faster. And what's cool about working in Charlottesville is that you meet locals that you normally wouldn't have run into during your daily life at the University.
It seems to me that the most intriguing friends you make are the people you used to swear you hated. It's funny how old drama seems silly after you get to know someone you thought you didn't like.
And then there are the friends that you've stopped talking to, which is always so strange to me. I know we all do it, for whatever reason, like there's nothing to say or there's still lingering resentment for something. But aren't we a little old to be pretending that it doesn't matter?
This column may be sappy, but since we're so busy all the time, and because another class will soon be leaving us, I think it's important to acknowledge how much our friends influence our college lives. So treat them well; they might be pulling you out of some bushes this weekend.
Mary's column runs biweekly on Wednesdays. She can be reached at mbaroch@cavalierdaily.com.
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