Rape. Medically it is defined as any non-consensual vaginal, anal or oral penetration. Though there are safety precautions everyone can take, unwanted sex does not always involve a stranger, and it isn’t always the woman who is the victim, especially in cases of dating miscommunication.
Rape can occur when a person has agreed to spend time with an acquaintance, in which case the rape is classified as “date rape.” Statistics show that 70 to 80 percent of rape victims know their assailants. Date rape thus can be an ambiguous situation, as what constitutes rape is dependent on the victim’s feelings toward the sexual activity.
A summer beach trip ended in such confusion for one female University student, who wished to keep her identity private. After she and her friends paired up with a group of guys, a kiss quickly led to a male’s attempt to have sex with the student without any communication or her permission.
The student’s experience exemplifies the ambiguities of rape: though the student was uncomfortable and the sex was non-consensual, she explained that it was very quick and not quite complete penetration, as she pushed him away.
“Usually I’m very clear about what I want and don’t want,” she said. “But this time, I assumed since we were just kissing, no one would make that leap. He was a nice guy, but it was inappropriate to move so quickly. I should have just been clear from the get-go.”
She and the male in question had been drinking alcohol, but the student was not a victim of GHB, Rohypnol or Ketamine, all of which are known as “date rape drugs.” According to a report from Brown University, this situation is not uncommon; 90 percent of all campus rapes occur when alcohol has been used by the attacker or victim.
The link between sexual assault and alcohol is undeniable, as alcohol affects judgment and reaction times. Women are told to watch their drinks at parties, when, in reality, the very alcoholic drink in their hand is linked to more sexual assaults than the drugs they are trying to avoid.
“When you’re more intoxicated, you’re less likely to communicate,” noted Leonard Carter, assistant director of the University of Virginia’s Counseling and Psychological Services. “Boundaries shift with alcohol. Communicate your boundaries up front so you don’t run into problems.”
If someone is too drunk to drive, he or she is not in a position to give consent, added James Anderson, president of One in Four, an all-male peer education group at the University that is committed to ending violence against women.
Anderson added that consent is “not the absence of a ‘no,’ but the presence of a ‘yes,’” noting that to give consent — a voluntary statement — one must be of age and not incapacitated in any way.
Anderson said he often hears men say that asking for consent “kills the mood.” He tells them, as part of One in Four’s education program, to think about the worst-case scenario of asking and not asking for consent. He said that while one may result in awkwardness, the other may result in committing rape.
Anderson’s group is not the only organization seeking to educate students and reduce the occurrence of date rape. Third-year College student Kathy Bian, a Sexual Assault Peer Advocacy member, said SAPA’s mission is to educate and to change how our culture views rape.
“People will use rape to say ‘I just raped that test,’” Bian said, “and we [SAPA] want to change how the word is used to reflect how serious of a matter it is. Some men do not view sex with an inebriated girl as rape, when in fact she can’t give consent.”
Though groups on Grounds see one of their primary missions as education, not everyone views rape in the same way. Heather Mac Donald, contributing editor of City Journal, has a different take on campus rape awareness. In her article “The Campus Rape Myth,” she labels it an “industry” perpetuated by alcohol usage causing “meaningless sexual encounters.” She chooses the label “industry” because the “one in four college women will be sexually assaulted” statistic resulted in hotlines and crisis centers across campuses throughout the nation.
Anderson, however, says articles like Mac Donald’s give him the energy to do what he does.
While some may view Mac Donald’s report as insensitive to rape survivors, the author does highlight an element of rape to which the female student victim could relate. In the article, Mac Donald stated, “A survey of sorority girls at the University of Virginia found that only 23 percent of the subjects whom the survey characterized as rape victims felt that they had been raped...” Similarly, the student victim never categorized her incident at the beach as rape.
Carter emphasized that many uncomfortable and confusing situations such as the student-victim’s can be avoided through communication.
“Communicate your boundaries up front so you don’t run into problems,” he said. “Two-way communication is needed. Guys need to communicate where they are coming from and should be educated to ask if this or that is OK. Everybody has to be involved for progression.”
Bian also noted in ambiguous situations, “people need to realize a woman never ‘asks’ to be raped, whatever her behavior.”
While it is never any victim’s fault for unwanted sexual activity, every individual is charged with speaking his or her own boundaries in relationships, whether they are one-night-stands, casual dates or serious loves. The best prevention is to enjoy your alcoholic drinks in moderation, take safety precautions and be very clear about one’s intentions. And that applies to both men and women.
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