Last night, after I climbed up into my loft, I drifted into a most delightful dream.\nSuddenly, I was in the middle of the Rotunda playing poker with Thomas Jefferson, Kathy from Newcomb and the fox that terrorized Lambeth.\nWe played a few hands. Kathy, despite calling me "sugar" and "good-looking," continued taking my money. Jefferson eloquently praised her gambling skills, while the fox gurgled and foamed from the mouth.\n"So, what are your thoughts about the Virginia sports teams this year, Dan?" Jefferson asked me.\n"It's been a mixed bag," I said. "A few things haven't gone how I would've liked them to."\nJefferson winked at me. "But this is your dream world! You can change it as you see fit! Just imagine it, and it will be so."\nAt once, ideas began pouring into my head. I could completely revise the world of Virginia sports and turn it into something better, if only inside my brain.\nSo, I thanked the fox, Kathy and Jefferson, and darted out of the room. My first stop: Scott Stadium.\nThe first change was to install locks on the gates at Scott Stadium so that no fans could leave the game before halftime.\nAfter that, I went up to the new Cav Man mascot with his Mario eyes and his trendy goatee, and turned him back into our traditional, bobble-headed mascot from last year.\nAnd, because this is a dream world, I bestowed Jameel Sewell with the ability to not overthrow a receiver and Ras-I Dowling with the ability to think as quickly as he hits hard.\nAfter that, I gave Al Groh some attitude. Say what you will about his coaching, the guy is stiffer than a 2-by-4 and whiter than cream cheese.\nNext, I walked to John Paul Jones Arena. For the men's squad, I decided that someone on the team other than Sylven Landesberg would, you know, be able to shoot a basketball. I also decided the team needs the ability to grab some rebounds because I hear that's important in basketball as well.\nFor good measure, I decided to fill Sean Singletary's water bottle with water from the Fountain of Youth so he could have another year of eligibility and come play for Virginia while he works on finding an NBA team this season.\nSince I was already at the basketball arena, I decided to do a little work on the women's basketball team. It's not like they need much help; they've been better these past two years than they ever were the decade before that.\nStill, a guarantee that this year will be as good as the past couple would be nice. I decided Monica Wright - currently the best athlete at Virginia, by the way - can now dunk, and that she'll win the Naismith Award this year. The NCAA could use another hard-working, tremendously talented women's basketball icon with a pretty face,
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