A couple of weeks ago I visited Monticello, and as it turns out, Thomas Jefferson was a pretty impressive individual - a beast at life, if you will.
I know, I know. You are SO tired of hearing about him - Thomas Jefferson this, Mr. Jefferson that, every day, all the time. Surely there have been better presidents than good old T.J. Well, my whiney friend, do you know what Mr. Jefferson would say to that? He would say, "Shut your pie hole and keep reading." And he would take care to remind you that you live in Charlottesville and shouldn't even know of the other "presidents."
So, I begin the story of our only president by detailing his numerous accomplishments, which will no doubt make you feel completely inadequate about yourself and the things you've achieved thus far.
Mr. J, as he will henceforth be known, began learning Greek, Latin and French at age 9. Nine. About this, I have two comments. First of all, when I was 9-years-old, I was just learning cursive - for what I now know was no reason at all - and hating Pok
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