Last Sunday, two friends and I had lunch at the home of one our professors. She served us homemade gazpacho and chocolate chip cookies, and we sat around talking about literature and our time at U.Va. and what the future holds. Although this professor is one of the preeminent scholars in her field and someone her students hold in reverence, the lunch simply felt like a comfortable gathering of good friends. We lounged leisurely in her living room, listening to stories about her children and her childhood, and at one point, even leafing through old notes and love poetry she'd saved from college. Two hours passed effortlessly, and I left thinking that it had been the nicest Sunday afternoon I'd enjoyed in a while.
I also left wishing that I'd had more experiences like this with professors during the past four years. Although I have close relationships with a few professors at U.Va., it took a long time for me to establish those friendships. Despite the access to incredibly talented and enthusiastic scholars that an education at the University provides, I have often shied away from engaging with professors, and now I realize that I missed out on a host of experiences similar to last Sunday's lunch.
My first two years at U.Va., I was mainly in large lecture courses, and one-on-one interaction with professors was limited. I was too timid to make myself known and rarely went to office hours or sought professors outside of the classroom. By third year, I had moved into smaller seminars in more specified fields and began to know my professors a little better. Although I was still intimidated by their towering knowledge and intensely busy schedules, most professors went out of their way to encourage us to establish relationships with them. As I began to engage with my professors and attend office hours, I soon realized they were sincere in their desires to get to know us and to provide advice and support in both academic and non-academic settings.
Now in my fourth year, I finally have relationships with a few professors that are not limited to the classroom, adding a depth to my intellectual and social life at U.Va. In addition to providing academic and intellectual guidance, these professors have offered advice about my future, written recommendations for my many job applications and given me much-needed moral support and encouragement. I am so thankful to have professors who are invested in my academic work, as well as my life outside the classroom, and I regret that I didn't take advantage of their open doors sooner. I waited far too long and missed out on far too many opportunities to benefit from their knowledge and compassion.
I think many students feel the way I did my first two years at U.Va. In a large university with such distinguished faculty, we are often hesitant to take up the time of those busy, important and often intimidating professors. What I have found, however, is that professors truly want to get to know their students. They welcome our insight and conversation and are happy to share their expertise. They seek to support us in our academic endeavors and also to offer guidance as we navigate through a tumultuous and often difficult stage of life.
If you have a chance to engage closely with a professor this week, I encourage you to do so. Take the time to stay after class or to stop by office hours and say hello - perhaps even to introduce yourself if you don't think your professor knows your name. It's never too late, even if you feel you should have already established a relationship. When you find yourself realizing, as I have, that you only have two weeks left in your academic career, don't let that realization come with a twinge of regret that you didn't take advantage of the wealth of intelligence and support that surrounds you. Our time at U.Va. is about connecting with the people around us and professors should certainly be included in those connections.
Annie Dillard writes that how we spend our days is how we spend our lives. The longer we let days slip by without taking advantage of the opportunities around us, the more our lives will reflect those missed moments of connection. Spend some time getting to know one professor, and when you look back on your life here at the University, I guarantee it will reflect a wealth of relationships with various professors who impact you in powerful ways. We are so fortunate to be surrounded by professors of the highest caliber and should savor every opportunity we have to establish friendships with them. So today, stop by office hours, invite a professor to lunch or ask if you can take them out for coffee. Even if you don't get invited to their home for a cup of gazpacho, I guarantee it will still be worth the time.
Keely's column runs biweekly Mondays. She can be reached at k.latcham@cavalierdaily.com.
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