At a school of 20,000-plus students, you're more than likely to see people you think you recognize, but who are not, in fact, your friends. Whenever my friends and I encounter one of those people, we like to assign these evil twins numbers - Greg 2, Greg 3, etc. Among my friends, there are four confirmed Rolfes, three confirmed Solomons and no confirmed Wills (I guess being 6-foot-8 and Shrek-like makes that inevitable).
It would seem that our football team is also suffering from the doppelganger effect. It appears two versions of the team have taken the field this season. The first, which through three games had everyone at the University excited, held then-No. 16 USC to just 17 points; had a big, bruising running back in Keith Payne, who ran for four touchdowns against Richmond; and had a successful quarterback in Marc Verica, who during two quarters beat up the VMI defense - good in war, not at Scott Stadium - for three touchdowns and 224 yards on 16-of-23 passing.
The second has been kind of a joke. Completely dominated by Florida State - 27 to nothing at halftime, which even Virginia Tech students can figure out is bad - taken to town by Georgia Tech's Anthony Allen and then humiliated by a North Carolina squad which hadn't beat us in Charlottesville since Ronald Reagan was president. And if you're wondering who Anthony Allen is, don't worry - so is everyone else.
So aren't you just trying to say they suck?
No, they don't suck. We've just had a few bad games. Bad luck. We've got Mike London. We're on the right track. We need some better recruits. Sunshine. Happiness. Butterflies.
I've got some different words for you. Awful. Pitiful. Disgusting. Especially in front of all those alumni last week.
Who are you kidding? Most of them were probably too drunk to tell. We're rebuilding. Sometimes there are some bumps along the road.
Bumps? 44-10 to North Carolina isn't a bump. That's like Pamela Anderson saying she's "had some work done."
We just need a new quarterback. Marc Verica's a good guy, but it's time we make a change. We've got good young talent. We had like eight quarterbacks this summer featured on "Building of a Program." Stick one of them in.
Yeah, two of those backups played Saturday. But they combined for three completions on nine pass attempts and two interceptions. Ross Metheny completed more passes to the other team than to the guys in orange. And by the way, that "Building of a Program" stuff? Biggest tease since the girls on "Rock of Love." The show, which aired on Comcast, made us look like Alabama out there, when we're more like Lower Southwestern State University and Salon School.
Whoa, whoa, don't get down on us yet. We've got Eastern Michigan this weekend. The Eagles are 1-6. We can get back on track with them.
Kudos to the athletic department for finding the one team we can beat. I applaud them. Even with 119 FBS schools, I didn't think we could do it.
We still have time to salvage this season. We've got some fight left in us. We have ... uh ... Duke left on the schedule.
You're leaving off No. 25 Miami, No. 23 Virginia Tech and Maryland. Combined record? 13-6.
Well, we have a good recruiting class coming in.
The only way we'll have a good recruiting class is if the players came to either the Richmond or VMI game, and then went blind, deaf and dumb during the next three months until signing day. Ain't no way they're signing with us after 44-10.
But we have great facilities. A good fan base. Tailgates.
I think what you mean is that we have a connected fan base - which is not likely to take up its precious time on a team that has won only five games since the beginning of last season.
Fine. You're right - maybe this season is down the drain. That doesn't mean Mike London isn't the right guy to lead our football team to prominence, though.
Sure, Mike London is the right guy. Here's the real question: Is U.Va. the right school?
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