If you've ever watched "How I Met Your Mother," it's likely that you're familiar with the word "lawyered." For those who haven't seen the show, the study guide version is as follows - Marshall, a lawyer, uses simple lawyer's logic to win an argument. Upon his victory, Marshall responds with something like, "You've been lawyered!" or "Kaboom! You've been lawyered!" or some other variant of the phrase.
A friend of mine recently pointed out a real-life parallel to Marshall's argumentative style. After I'd deflected a dinner-table argument about the genetic basis of cancer with basic science and oncogene theory, she noted that lawyers aren't the only ones with a rhetorical trump card. Science-baffled opponents, she realized, can be "pre-medded."
The art of pre-medding is one of the overworked pre-med student's few joys in life - a rare glimpse into how those countless hours of coursework can apply to everyday life. It's an ability that must be used judiciously - overuse can lead to one's being reputed as an arrogant, shameless nerd - but a few well-placed instances of pre-medding are an excellent way to quickly shut down an opponent, provided he does not study the sciences.
If you're up for a challenge, try pre-medding another pre-med - your argument will undoubtedly escalate and become more interesting.
With the appropriate parameters of use laid out, I think it's best to outline the use of this powerful rhetorical strategy during the course of an argument.
Phase 1 - The Beginning: Generally, your opponent will begin an argument that is not explicitly scientific - his supporting arguments, for example, aren't scientifically rooted. Speaking with said opponent on his own terms is wise here - don't rush the science right away! The argument needs to build some momentum first.
Phase 2 - The Plot Thickens: The point at which your disagreement builds. Ostensibly, you watch and listen, but the gears in your head are turning vigorously as you formulate counterarguments - science-based or otherwise. This is the calm before the storm...
Phase 3 - The Scientific Segue: Not all arguments are conducive to pre-medding, but when you find yourself in one where the strategy is applicable, this is the key step. It's an art in and of itself. The shift to science must never be forced - an abrupt shift will make you seem overeager and perhaps uncertain about the topic. Rather, either wait until your opponent's argument has poor logic or guide the conversation so it reaches a point that is easily elucidated by science.
Phase 4 - The End Result: Once your scientific retort has been issued, there are four possible outcomes. 1. Your opponent will give up. 2. Your opponent, though clearly bewildered, pretends to know exactly what you said and proceeds to argue with you. This is the most fun alternative - keep on pre-medding! 3. Your opponent asks for clarification - this makes a great opportunity to share your hard-earned knowledge. 4. The wild card - your opponent, unbeknownst to you, has a science background! Prepare for a very interesting argument.
As evidenced by the alternatives outlined above, pre-medding will not produce a sure win every time. Regardless of the scenario, however, the outcome is always interesting - be it a rhetorical victory, a pleasant scientific conversation or just an intellectually vigorous argument. At the very least, it's a way to infuse a little humor into life as a pre-med student.
Courtney's column runs biweekly Fridays. She can be reached at c.hartnett@cavalierdaily.com.
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