One of the first dating columns I wrote was about the fascinating phenomenon in which many first-years break up with their high school sweethearts in November. This usually occurs when they go home for Thanksgiving Break and see each other for the first time since they started school at separate colleges. It seems that a lot of people decide they want to experience the beginnings of college independently, to figure out what they want on their own. Well, now that I'm halfway through my fourth year, it's becoming apparent that this first-year breakup experience has its parallel at the end of the college experience: many fourth-years break up upon feeling the pressures of graduation.
During the course of the past semester, many of my fourth-year friends in long-term relationships stopped dating. It was bizarre when it happened to the first pair, as I had known them as a couple for so long. But then another duo split - and another and another. A lot of times, the decision comes after a lot of long, rational thought. If the two are together at graduation, normally one follows the other to his or her new job or graduate school, moving in together to save money on rent. Sometimes, however, one person does not follow the other - a recipe for long-distance relationship stress. Fourth-years try to take charge of the decisions caused by their impending graduation. Instead of letting graduation force a decision upon them, students come to decisions about the future on their own terms, which leads to a reevaluation of the relationship and subsequent breakup.
When the end is quickly approaching, every bad moment in the relationship sticks out that much more. So as the end of college nears, one person might irritate and wear down the other to the point of splitting. Knowing a split may be on the horizon, moreover, people might look for flaws and problems in their relationship to justify walking away.
My guess is that this trend will continue to develop as this last semester progresses. When a new year comes, people are encouraged to go "out with the old and in with the new," giving couples even more of a reason to want a fresh start. Around this time, people realize that they won't have the chance to be a college undergraduate ever again. In this case, they may want the opportunity to go crazy without anyone holding them back.
I'm sure many of these former couples have their own important and personal reasons for ending things, but all of these theories must explain why so many pairs call it quits during their last year. Fourth-years, look around and see if you notice the same sorts of things. And the rest of you, file this away in your head for when the same thing starts to happen next year and the year after.
As for me, a combination of these situations led to my own breakup in early January after an 18-month relationship. I broke up with the same guy I wooed by serving store-bought Sara Lee cheesecake that I had pretended to bake myself. It's honestly for the best, with no hard feelings, and now I have twice as much time to go out and experience everything I want to do during my last semester. The good news for you, loyal readers, is that it has been tested and proven that being single always makes for a better dating column.
Jordan's column runs biweekly Mondays. She can be reached at j.hart@cavalierdaily.com.
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