Sometimes, one of the closest bonds in nature is the bond between two young women. Best friends, sorority sisters; there are hundreds of examples of strong, powerful, female friendships.
But... we've all seen "Mean Girls" and we know that girls - or even boys for that matter - can also be jealous, catty, petty and occasionally just mean. I think when issues arise regarding men, females who are only acquaintances and especially those who are simply strangers can regress to that high-school level of pettiness. If a guy seems to be more interested in another girl in his discussion section than he is in you, or if some girl you knew in passing as a first year begins to date your ex-boyfriend when you break up, things can get nasty.
I won't list all the nasty names in this column, but you all know that list of words, B-words and S-words, anything but the other girl's actual name, used to refer to her in condescending and hurtful ways - used to make yourself feel better for being the one potentially rejected. Girls can sometimes judge each other's outfits, judge their bodies, judge their boyfriends, judge their hairstyles and on and on. It can be a rough dating world out there when your biggest competitors are not the men you are trying to win, but the ladies who make it even harder to happen.
But I don't want to write about all of the ways young women can act negatively to one another or tear others down to build themselves up in front of men. I'm more interested in the way we're there for one another in the dating world and always have each other's backs. And after nearly four years at this university, I've realized that there is no greater form of female camaraderie than what blossoms between the ladies who meet in the bathrooms during nights out at bars on the Corner.
If you've never spent 20 minutes in, say, the women's room of Three at 12:30 during a Thursday night, then you're missing out on some of the kindest gestures and sweetest support amongst women, especially concerning their relationships to men. It begins as soon as you walk in the door and there's a long line of your peers, all chatting about similar topics: the crazy stalker guy out on the dance floor, the cute guy at the bar who bought you a drink, which bar you should hit up next, etc. When you finally get to the front of the line and realize your friend is already in a stall and you have nowhere to set down your drink, the girl in line behind you inevitably will offer to hold it for you. After washing your hands, another most likely will pull out some paper towels for you while your hands are dripping wet.
But the best part, more often than not, is when you begin a conversation with these former strangers, happy to be somewhere away from the booming music outside, and start to chat about your lives and all the boys back out in the bar. Hate to break it to you guys, but when we head to the bathroom, we make fast friends in there and begin to discuss... well, you. I met one girl once who overheard my conversation with a friend concerning my uncertainty about whether I was more attracted to one guy versus another. I briefly described them both to this new friend, and then she decided she needed to come meet them for herself. So she marched out of there with us, a new partner in crime, to sit down and chat with each boy so she could survey the situation for herself before giving me her expert, unbiased opinion... back in the bathroom.
It's a frequent joke that women go into bathrooms in groups of twos or threes, but in reality, most times I come out of the bathroom with more friends than I go in there with. I think that the epitome of female friendship and support concerning men comes just from a trip to the bar bathrooms late at night - a camaraderie that could stand to be imitated in our regular, everyday lives.
Jordan's column runs biweekly Mondays. She can be reached at j.hart@cavalierdaily.com.
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