Hi, my name is @k_urbs and I admit, I am a tweetaholic.
It started out innocently enough. The year was 2009, and despite the fact that my six AP exams were hurtling toward me with hurricane-like intensity, I spent my afternoons reading highly acclaimed literature like Perez Hilton. One day, I read an article about how @iamdiddy introduced @TheEllenShow to the then latest form of social media: Twitter. That's when it hit me - what better way to get the celebrity "news" I used to indulge my senioritis than straight from the horse's mouth. So I literally, and metaphorically, followed @TheEllenShow into the light - or dark, depending on how you look at it - and signed up for a Twitter account.
Even though a paparazzi picture may be worth 1,000 words, I quickly found learning about my favorite celebrities' daily lives in 140 characters or fewer to be quite an addicting pastime.
At first I was hesitant to tweet. I mean, who really cares about what I ate for breakfast (strawberry banana yogurt), where I am now (Club Clem fourth floor) or my take on the weather (I'm wearing a sundress; why isn't it sunny outside yet?). And unlike @nicolerichie, I don't have legions of photographers following me around town as I try free bread samples at Harris Teeter or buy yet another pair of strappy gladiator sandals that I know my dad will tell me I don't need. So I stayed silent and simply creeped on others' 140 character thoughts.
A few weeks before college, I ditched my clunky flip phone not even Zach Morris would envy for a sleek iPhone 3GS. Clearly Apple's "There's an app for that" marketing campaign was effective, because I went a little crazy and downloaded multiple applications for Twitter. After settling on the one with the easiest interface, I decided maybe it was time to fully commit to tweeting. At the very least, my sister @jenurban would be able to get the SparkNotes on college life. It wasn't long before I tweeted as though I actually had paparazzi following me around Grounds. Fast forward four semesters, and I am in need of my own 12-step program.
Admitting you have a problem is the first step to recovery, and recently I have done just that. Before when Twitter was brought up in conversation, I used to play it off as though I didn't have one. If it came out that I did, I would play it off as though I was doing "field research" - I am a Media Studies major, after all. If I felt the need to further justify my tweeting habits, I would note that I managed a high-end swimwear company's social media this past summer, and because my boss was as detail-oriented as Anna Wintour, she insisted we use Twitter as part of our marketing strategy, thus I was used to tweeting often. And if those justifications failed, I simply would mention that the @Hullabahoos follow me, which of course would change the topic to the glory that is college a capella groups. Safe at last, I would think to myself.
Within the past six months, I have gained a legion of followers as Twitter has become increasingly popular among my fellow college students. As a result, my 2,000 plus tweets which once brought me shame have given me a level of street cred as my peers try to catch up. Even a recent job interviewer was impressed with my tweeting abilities and made a note of it in my interview file. I am quick to remind them I've been tweeting for two years and I try not to spam people's timelines - I'm looking at you @KimKardashian. I tell them they too can become expert tweeters if they master using the hashtag.
The hashtag has to be used in moderation to achieve the perfect effect. #youshouldnottweetyourwholemessageasahashtag because that's harder to take seriously than an email sent in Comic Sans by a Commerce student. But if you're feeling #sad, #nostalgic, #annoyed, #hungry or just want to let your followers know what you're #nowplaying, you're in luck because there's a hashtag for that. If you want to take your hashtags to a whole new level, sarcastic phrases such as "sorry I'm not sorry" are best amplified when accompanied by a hashtag. And if you want to be a master hashtag user, just avoid Charlie Sheen's #winning hashtag, and you'll be a #winner in my book.
Although some people - like a certain one of my roommates - are stalwarts against Twitter and may berate you for using it, claiming it is narcissistic, addictive and "a waste of time," simply take pride in the fact that you have a better chance of getting a coveted high five from @UVADeanGroves. And if you, like myself, find yourself on the Northline when the entire basketball team is making 5-foot-4 seem super short, you have an insider's perspective as to why @samzuva13 is headed for JPJ or what 14 kicks @bubevans1 was deciding between this morning since he tweeted his entire thought process. And unlike your Twitterless peers who are forced to do their work when there is nothing new on their Facebook newsfeed, you have a constant stream of 140-word thoughts to read for procrastination.
Whatever the haters may say, just throw up a hashtag with your fingers and snarkily reply #hatersgonnahate.
Katie's column runs biweekly Fridays. She can be reached at k.urban@cavalierdaily.com
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