Without a doubt, the thing I miss the least about college is that horrible, gut-wrenching feeling I would have every finals season as I sat in Clemons circa 3 a.m. At my most distressed moments, I’d find myself imagining how I was going to explain to my parents why I failed a class or why I didn’t graduate. The image of me in a black cap and gown, doe-eyed and slowly unwrapping a blank diploma in front of disappointed family members would haunt me.
Despite my late-night emotional turmoil, none of these things actually happened to me. Less than a year after graduating, the switch has finally flipped. Now I realize how the minutiae of college — the papers, deadlines, finals — seemed so much more important than they have proven to be today.
College is nothing more than a stepping stone from adolescence into the real world, during which your only job is to make friends and memories and figure out what you really like. This realization, among others, has been monumental for me and is one I wish I could have taken solace in during those rough late nights of studying. But in the short time I’ve been away from the University, I’ve arrived at a number of conclusions I don’t think I could have drawn as a stressed, overworked college student. A few of my newfound wisdoms are outlined here.
On U.Va.
I preface this entire column, but mostly this section, by saying my beliefs and opinions are based solely on my experiences, which could very well be quite unlike yours. Our school is a big, diverse one.
The University is a wonderful school if the ideas you want to study were available in a textbook 20 years ago. It is a school of tradition, repute, security and continued excellence.
It is not a school of movers and shakers, disruptors, boundary-crossers or of wandering-but-not-lost souls. If you choose to stray off the beaten path and do things your own way, you have to be inventive and you would have to work mostly with self-motivated initiative. Paving your own individual path at the University is tough — I find I especially admire those who did.
On decisions
Your experience in college is a combination of hundreds of decisions you make. Coming into first year, your future is a blank canvas you spend four years painting with the choices you make, with the most monumental being — in your mind — what you will do after graduation.
In retrospect, the only important takeaways are to figure out what you love and to develop a lasting work ethic. In the end, nobody really cares where you went to college or what sorority you were in, but they do care who you are, how you work and what you do. Stay true to yourself, and study or do whatever makes you feel passionate. Hang out with your friends a lot, and party as hard as you want, because that’s how you make friends and memories.
On employment
I never found the University — particularly the College — very helpful throughout my job search, but that’s not a complaint. The smaller the school or major you are in, the more specialization and job guidance you will receive. I chose to remain a little fish in a big pond, because I didn’t know what I wanted to do, and after all, none of us came to college to have our hands held.
I realized what industry I wanted to work in during my third year, and I knew virtually no University graduates or professors who worked in it, so I was on my own. Be proactive, get your name out there, talk to random people and be shameless. Don’t let fear of the unknown or fear of discomfort dissuade you from studying what you want. If you are smart enough to get into U.Va., you are smart enough to get any job you want.
On the end
University students are often criticized for their sense of ‘entitlement,’ but the more I think about that word, I think only of the opportunities ‘entitlement’ can bring you. Believe any job can be yours, any city can be your stomping ground and any passion can translate into an income — this knowledge is power, and it is the reason why U.Va. graduates are so successful.
If you are lucky enough to get a college education, then you are a person entitled to elect the best choices for yourself. Allow the powerful influence of your intelligent, driven and passionate peers to fuel your own success. Never in your life will you be surrounded by such an amazing group of like-minded and forward-thinking individuals.
Your exam on Monday or your lab Wednesday or your paper due Friday is not as important as it seems. In ten years, college will be nothing but a distant memory, so make it count now. Take off your shoes and stay awhile, and don’t look forward to the end — it’s really not that great out here.
Valerie (CLAS ’14) is a former Editor of the Cavalier Daily Life section. She now lives in New York City and works in magazine publishing at Meredith Corporation.
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