There’s at least one in every family — the stingy, straightlaced aunt of whom you’re always been a little afraid, who speaks of all youth as “those millennials” with both wariness and critique. Out of disappointment with the trends of our generation these family members recall, “When I was in school,” to differentiate with some element of scorn between the then and the now.
Maybe you have the uncle whose questions about your college experience over winter break morph into a conversation about his glory days in a fraternity and trails off about this one time at a bar or football game. We’ve all heard these nostalgic recollections amongst members of older generations. As irksome as it may be to hear these pastimes repeated again and again, the daunting fact remains — we ourselves will eventually be those older, reminiscent alumni who speak of themselves more so with memories than with the present.
The stories we hear of past college experiences radiate with a sense of pride and are shared with such animation or passion. Undoubtedly people regard their memories from college, however painfully long-gone or dated they may be, as a profound aspect of who they are. Turning our gaze onto ourselves as current students at the University, we can begin to empathize with the fervent storytelling of our relatives. Self-aware of how we are going through the life phase we’ll later recollect with the all-too-familiar phrase, “When I was in college”, we make efforts to preserve or construct memories in the present for future keepsaking purposes.
This self-consciousness — or concern at the very least — to create memories can put pressure on us to act at all times in ways which would merit recounting. As if constructing a résumé, our acute desire to decorate our time in college with stories we are proud to remember, our choices and actions are made in light of a social aspiration rather than what we actually want or may need to be doing.
We all know we won’t remember every specific handout we’ve completed or every paper we’ve written. Instead we’ll recall the times we had fun — streaking the Lawn, attending events for Homecomings and studying on the Lawn — or perhaps just sitting there and admiring this view, quintessential of the U.Va. experience.
But as Maroon 5 so eloquently once said, “It’s not always rainbows and butterflies.” The reality is that we are students of a top-ranked and highly competitive university, and we are bound to the inevitability of facing vexing ordeals — whether personal or academic. This is most likely obvious to college students here and everywhere. However, being self-aware that our current life status is a source upon which our pool of memories are founded, we seem to convince ourselves we’re not allowed to struggle or we’re not allowed to not have fun.
We don’t want to look back on our memories of college and remember the times we stayed up all night in Clemons Library, or the time — or several times — we missed home or when we got a handful of bad grades. So we self-assert pressure to avoid these complications as much as possible and feel the need to construct an internal reservoir of only positive memories.
Though it may be true how “college is the best time of your life,” and though it may be true that college can be incredibly fun, it’s also true that your time in college will test you emotionally and academically. We should grant ourselves a reprieve from trying effortlessly to have our social lives live up to the expectation of the University experience. It’s okay to struggle, and it’s okay to remember both the good and the bad when looking back on your time at U.Va.
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