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President Ryan announces new lawn rooms to be added and filled by application

<p>Humor columnist Katie Tripp describes President Ryan’s new program to add additional lawn rooms.</p>

Humor columnist Katie Tripp describes President Ryan’s new program to add additional lawn rooms.

Living on the Lawn is the quintessential U.Va. experience. As many of you know, lawn room decisions for the 2019-2020 school year were released recently. I’m sure you’ve heard the statistics — 2 percent of applicants from the pool were selected, the average GPA was 72, and approximately 89 percent of successful applicants got tickets to the Duke game. 

However, many of the rejected applicants for the Lawn were astounding candidates as well. presidents of clubs, Student Council representatives and many UGuides were denied a lawn room, despite their stellar credentials. Maybe they didn’t stop to pet every pup on Grounds, or maybe one day they were in a rush and didn’t hug Miss Kathy at Newcomb. 

President Jim Ryan is fully aware of the pressure that high-achieving students are under at U.Va. and how the school is known to foster a sense of competition for prestige. He also knows how devastating rejection can be for these applicants each year. In an effort to invite more of U.Va’s finest to enjoy the prestige of being a “lawnee,” Ryan plans to add some new rooms throughout Grounds that rising fourth-years can apply to live in during their final year as an undergraduate. “While the added rooms aren’t as traditional as the ones on the Lawn, they still have a deep history at the school and will continue to honor the best and brightest at Mr. Jefferson’s University,” Ryan said in a statement. 

The residents of these new rooms will be considered just as prestigious as their lawn room counterparts, Ryan later said. They will also be able to purchase “lawnee” robes, name plates, firewood and a full meal plan because none of them will have kitchens. These new rooms share many of the same traits as the traditional lawn rooms, including a central location, no air conditioning and a possible rat problem. However, each new room features one or more state of the art amenities. One even has a bathroom. 

If you were cheated out of getting a room just steps from a UNESCO World Heritage site, you have another chance! Check below for a detailed listing of each available room. Applications are very similar to original lawn room applications and are due to President Ryan by March 14, 2019. Good luck!

1. Glass Box with a Piece of the Berlin Wall — unfurnished

Location: Near Alderman Library

Features: One wall

Amenities: Scenic View

Price: $500 per month

2. Old Cabell Practice Rooms — unfurnished

Location: Old Cabell Hall

Features: One piano (grand piano rooms cost extra)

Amenities: Soundproof (wink)* 

Price: $700 per month

3. That Thing by the Whispering Wall That’s Like Two Benches with a Roof — furnished

Location: Between Newcomb and the Whispering Wall

Features: Double occupancy

Amenities: Very close to Starbucks

Price: $1000 per month

4. Newcomb Hall Third Floor Bathrooms- unfurnished

Location: Newcomb Hall

Features: One bathroom

Price: $1500 per month

5. That Gigantic Pothole They Were Supposed to Fix on Emmet Street — furnished

Location: Emmet Street

Features: five room, two and a half bath. Expansions planned

Amenities: Gym and tennis court access, free parking

Price: $2000 per month

Whether you didn’t quite get that lawn room or were too scared to try, you should consider applying for these new fourth-year “non-lawn” rooms! While they may not be as convenient for beloved U.Va. traditions like Rotunda Sing or Trick or Treating on the Lawn, they are still some of the best real estate on Grounds. And hey, they’re way cheaper than actual lawn rooms!

*These are actually terribly soundproofed. Do not attempt to sing in the shower thinking no one can hear you. Not that you have a shower anyway. 

Katie Tripp is a Humor Columnist at The Cavalier Daily. She can be reached at