Summer swipin’ are we gonna match?

hu-tinder-eklein

Humor columnist Heath Yancey breaks down the different facets of Tinder in the summer.

Emma Klein | Cavalier Daily

Summer lovin’ had me a blast. Summer lovin’ happened so fast. Open on you, surrounded by your friends at the beginning of the fall semester giving them all the juicy details of your summer fling. Whether you’re a Danny, Sandy or somewhere in between, the idea of your friends circling around you shrieking “tell me more,” may not have crossed your mind, but blasting the group chat in all caps probably did. Abroad or domestic, there is always hope for your summer romance to blossom. While Tinder may have been your go-to dating pool on Grounds, the rules are very different depending on where you are spending your summer. 

Tinder abroad:

Not everyone can sit down on an international flight and whip a connection with their fellow passenger out of thin air, so sometimes in order to meet people you have to get creative or go online. Tinder can be a great way to make connections while spending your summer in a foreign country. Depending on where you are, bear in mind that your nationality may be an asset or a detriment. 

No matter what, be upfront about your knowledge of the native language of the area you are in. Put it in your profile if you aren’t a fluent speaker. For those of you spending time at U.Va. in Spain, remember that the word for embarrassed in Spanish is “avergonzado,” and not the almost cognate “embarazada” which means pregnant. While you may want to flex your language skills and communicate your “embarrassment,” be sure you don’t accidentally make a more natal announcement. I know you won’t want to admit your language limitations, but especially if you’re picking up Spanish 2010 and 2020 be sure to have an online translator on deck. Just take notes on everything so that when you come back you can spend the entire semester talking about the wonders of your summer abroad. 

Tinder at home:

Now that the semester is over, you have moved back home and returned to your minimum wage job to make money over the summer. Nothing wrong with saving up. Maybe you aren’t navigating a new place, but returning to a familiar one. In that case, be careful. Do you really wanna go back to your high school hookup after pulling yourself together, beginning to adult, and self-actualizing? The monotony of your job and the unpaid whatever you’re doing for a recommendation can get pretty boring, so you might feel the urge to spice it up. Not only are you bored, but you’re surrounded by all the people that dealt with your most hormonal and unprepared decisions. Show them how much you’ve changed, or remind them that you haven’t. 

If you choose to branch out beyond your high school flings, remember that your family remembers that one person who was in your preschool class. The smaller the town the sharper the memory. But never fear, the close-up selfies and tasteful angles will be there to welcome you home. Don’t forget, you may have just been downgraded from your twin XL to a regular twin and that’s a lot to make up for. Here’s to learning how to compensate for length! Just try to be quiet about it you’re sharing a space with your parents again. 

Tinder in Charlottesville:

Finally, we get to those few who are still in Charlottesville over the summer. At least while you’re here you’ll be able to find someone who might be impressed by your prestigious extracurriculars. Just know that less people here over the summer means it’s harder to avoid people when you see them. That, or you can expand your range to 100 miles and hopefully match with professionals in DC, or mingle with the students at JMU. If you get really desperate, there are always Hokies. Or, you can make a connection with one of Charlottesville’s finest 18 year olds freshly graduated and ready to take on the world of college dating. Just understand they’ll be clingier than sorority bigs and littles after reveal. They may not know you, but they’re certain it’s true love. Maybe reconnect with the one friend you have that’s still in Charlottesville who you hooked up with once and weren’t unsatisfied so you’re ready to give it another go.  

If you aren’t looking for a summer romance you can always swipe mindlessly to pass the time. No matter what, you can find the summer romance of your dreams wherever you are, just as long as you’re careful when summer days start drifting away to oh, oh, oh summer nights. 

Heath Yancey is a Humor Columnist for The Cavalier Daily. He can be reached at humor@cavalierdaily.com.

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