You thought your 8 a.m. was a treat before? Well, it just got a whole lot sweeter. Gone is the need to make yourself presentable, sans a 10-second comb of your hair. You can charge your laptop right next to your bed, set the alarm for 7:55 a.m., “Zoom” into your lecture — and “Zoom” just as quickly back to sleep when you’re finished. The list points out how the professor may be more lenient on an early section — just imagine how much that laid-back attitude will skyrocket when the professors are likely sitting in bed themselves.
Although people-watching from anywhere on Grounds has been unfortunately restricted, never fear — this list can be easily adapted to fit your own home. Rather than observing from O’Hill’s third floor, for instance, your own kitchen table should serve as an effective vantage point into the next room. What about the Lawn, you might ask? Why, there’s no better substitute than your own front yard! Grab some gray spray paint and strike a pose that’s reminiscent of the Homer statue — I guarantee that no passers-by will give you a second glance.
While originally intended as a guide to returning to the University, I’m sure many of us could use some advice on how to settle back into life at home — after all, unless you’re staying on Grounds, you might have a tough time getting the Charlottesville Papa John’s to deliver to your house. With the warnings and orders to stay at home growing more numerous by the day, it’s safe to say we should all be prepared to settle down for a while.
This one has a few misses, at least applied to the present — good luck shopping — but some of the advice is absolutely spot-on, albeit in a more subtle way. For instance, one point recommends calling your family, which at first seems a little silly when you’re all in the same house. But consider for a moment — how else are you going to get those cough drops while self-quarantined in your room?
Let’s be honest, with every exam being take-home, open-note, open-internet and open-Stack Overflow, there’s really no excuse for a bad midterm grade anymore. But even if your internet cuts out halfway through your online exam — thus tanking your grade — this list offers some uplifting recommendations. Among the many great ideas, my favorite is his commentary on vacation planning, wherein he remarks that “Italy is nice this time of year.”
As I write this, I’ve only experienced one day of online classes, but I can confidently say that the list’s labels for professors have shone more brightly than ever. Teachers simply become more “themselves” when guiding an online lecture — the grouchy ones get more grouchy, the excited ones grow more excited and the indifferent ones may as well have put a cardboard cutout of themselves in front of their laptop camera.
This list of arguments against Valentine’s Day relationships is relevant any day of the year. Among them is the idea that being single is less stress-inducing — and that has never been more true than right now. Can you imagine trying to show affection to your significant other while staying the recommended distance of six feet away at all times? Is the warmth you’re feeling, cuddled up together underneath the blanket, actually you developing a fever?
Whether you’re at home or on Grounds, you are going to hit a slump at some point. Extended periods of schoolwork can be draining, as can extended periods cooped up in one place. We students are going to have to do both for the next couple of months, and this advice can be instrumental regardless of where you are — from practicing self-care, reaching out for advice or even going to sporting events … oh, wait.
Laptop stickers are designed to be proudly displayed to other people — how are they at all useful at home? With nobody to flex on, why flex at all? I would argue, though, that the stickers we use as a manner of self-expression can be a foundation for some self-reflection as well. While you’re at home over the next several weeks, or months, take a look at your laptop stickers and consider how you grew as a person since you first stuck them on — or maybe regressed a little.
This Top 10 presents an amusing and somewhat pensive look at what we’ve left behind at the University in terms of our crosswalks and their unique characters. As we finish out the semester at home, let’s keep in mind the challenges we must overcome — in a sense, by paving crosswalks over our own obstacles. Let’s be proud of our accomplishments, and share and celebrate them all the same, just with a bit more distance in between.