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School is fake

Humor columnist Tess Tolland laments the loss of normality

Wanna sit on your porch? Bring your computer outside. Would you rather lay in bed? Go right ahead.
Wanna sit on your porch? Bring your computer outside. Would you rather lay in bed? Go right ahead.

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It’s been two months since classes started and I still feel like I’m not in school. 

Do you guys remember what a normal Monday-to-Friday used to look like? Classes used to consume our entire day. We woke up earlier, picked out outfits, packed our backpacks — remember those? — and we would actually WALK all day from class to class. We’d bump into people we knew, waving and stopping for a chat. Our professors were more than a figure on a laptop screen. Our classmates were our peers, study partners and even friends. Maybe we skipped over to the Corner for lunch or met some friends at one of the dining halls. My point is, our days were all about our classes. 

These days are quite the opposite. There are no outfits to choose, no backpacks to pack and we rarely walk on Grounds anymore. The way I describe it makes it sound depressing, but I don’t see it that way. It seems to me that classes used to consume our days, but now they are just little computer appointments that we can log onto anywhere. Wanna sit on your porch? Bring your computer outside. Would you rather lay in bed? Go right ahead. I cannot even count the number of times I’ve seen people sprawled on their beds taking class in their pajamas.

The most amusing feature on Zoom is the “stop video” feature. I feel for the professors who have to lecture to a class of black screens. Once that video is stopped and the mute button is on, all bets are off — our professors have no clue what their students are doing. They could be scrolling through TikTok, fixing themselves a snack, making calls, watching Netflix or just wandering aimlessly around their room. I myself am guilty of losing focus, as I’m sure everyone else is.

This is not to mention the fact that our exams and quizzes are now online and many are also open-note. Because of this, we spend less time studying, less time stressing over exams and more time doing other things. For the most part, we don’t even go to libraries anymore. There are fewer study groups and study guides, and as a result, there’s way more time to chill out and relax. Not too shabby, eh? 

So, now for some advice — stop whining about school and embrace the new freedoms you have. I’m not saying you need to fully zone out and bomb your classes, but take a load off! Let’s not forget about another fantastic, beautiful, amazing gift that the University has given us. No, I’m not talking about the University’s decision to increase the number of people we can hang out with from five to 10 — I’m talking about our fantabulous credit/no-credit option. 

If you’re still taking some hard classes and want to embrace the whole “school is fake” thing that I’m trying to sell you on, or if you’re feeling extra stress from that thing we call COVID-19, there are solutions right in front of you. Did you get a C on a paper? Forgot to take a quiz? Oh wait, don’t panic. Just log into your SIS account, check a few boxes and make all of your troubles fade blissfully away. So, stop it with the worrying and chill out for a second! Shut off that computer, make plans with your friends and have some fun.

Tess Toland is a Humor columnist for The Cavalier Daily. She can be reached at humor@cavalierdaily.com.

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