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Boyfriend Takes So Many Pictures of Girlfriend He Dumps Her For Photography Career

Humor columnist Ellie Wilkie reports on a shocking development between a seemingly solid couple

This past Wednesday, in a Clark study room, Randy Leibovitz broke up with Tiffany Claíre. Their 17 month relationship — best known for Leibovitz’s dedication to Claíre’s social media aesthetic — came to a close so suddenly that most members of the University community are still reeling from the shock. 

When polled, 99.7 percent of undergraduate students said they saw Leibovitz taking pictures of his girlfriend at least eight times a week, and 86 percent said this habit was their strongest association with the young man. 

An anonymous source told The Cavalier Daily that Leibovitz had taken over 110,000 pictures of Claíre. “I’ve seen the phone,” our source said. “He took pictures of her at Sunset Series, IX Park, Overlook Drive, Newcomb Dining Hall, a Clark study room, on the Lawn, on the front side of the Rotunda, on the backside of the Rotunda, in front of Bodo’s, inside Bodo’s, at Boylan, Asado, Bilt, and Trin, at the Virginia Tech game, at the Duke game, even at the William & Mary game, on the first day of class, on the last day of class, on the 32nd day of class, by herself, with her friends, with her dog, at the beach, on a field, in the pool, in a classroom, on a treadmill, when she signed her lease, when she got her class ring, when she streaked the Lawn, at Christmas, Thanksgiving, Easter, for her birthday, for his birthday and for President’s Day.” 

“I’ve just gotten so used to seeing them together. I mean they’re Randy and Tiffany, Tiffany and Randy,” said third-year student Allison Allen. “I don’t think I’ll even recognize Randy if he isn’t taking pictures of Tiffany. Like, what would that look like?”

Sally Obvious said she was not surprised by the breakup. “I always assumed their entire relationship was just an exchange of services — headshots for head. And if two people are trading Instagram stories for sex, they probably shouldn’t have been together to begin with. So many people stay together for stupid reasons like the ​​aesthetic.”  

Dean Shrubbery says he sees this kind of behavior all the time. “It’s quite sad really, the number of young men who spend their Saturdays taking pictures of their girlfriends and the number of girlfriends who seem to like themselves more than they like their boyfriends. It’s one thing to take a picture of her over dinner, but it’s another to become her personal photographer. It’s an unhealthy student behavior we’re trying to correct. Students should check out our new lecture series on the subject — How To Communicate to the People that Matter.” The rule of thumb provided by the Counseling & Psychological Services is if you spend more time looking at her through the lens in her phone than you do looking at her in person, reassess the relationship. 

Yet the Leibovitz case doesn’t fit the usual mold. What has surprised students even more than the breakup, is that apparently, Leibovitz does like taking pictures. 

When asked about his decision to split, Leibovitz responded — “I woke up one day and realized, it wasn’t her I liked, it was the photography. It’s been a fun ride, but I think it’s time for us to go our separate ways.” Leibovitz had no experience with photography prior to the couple's relationship but has apparently blossomed under her tutelage. “She’s really good at explaining angles,” he said. “And the sheer volume of pictures I was taking made it easier to discern what was quality and what was not.” 

Claíre has made several statements on the incident — first stating that they were simply on a break and would soon be back together, then publishing a 750 word expose via Snapchat story detailing Leibovitz’s inadequacies as a lover and lastly deleting all pictures in which he had been tagged, in which he was visible or upon which he had commented. 

Leibovitz has been offered an internship with TIME, working as a freelance photographer with a summer stipend of $25,000. When we broke the news to Claíre, she fell into hysterics — “Who does he think he is? He dumps me in the middle of midterms, leaves me without anyone to pose for, and now he gets to profit off my pictures!? I’m the reason he even got into photography!” 

“Randy’s a great photographer,” said Leibovitz’s incoming supervisor at TIME. “Once we get him some better models, he’s gonna be a hit.”

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