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Five Ways to Not Look Like a Noob in Minecraft

Here’s how to not get stuck embarrassing yourself in a game made for eleven year olds

Here’s how to not get stuck embarrassing yourself in a game made for eleven year olds
Here’s how to not get stuck embarrassing yourself in a game made for eleven year olds

Over the summer, I found myself with an abundance of free time. Nobody wanted to hire me, all my friends were too busy with their jobs to hang out, it was far too hot to leave the house and the one vacation I was planning to go on got canceled. So, I did what any other sane person would do in this situation — I bought a Minecraft account.

If you have heard of the game Minecraft, like me, you initially thought it was called “Mindcraft.” However, the game is apparently less about using your mind and more about mining. When I first opened up the game, I didn’t really have any idea of what to do, so I consulted an expert — my teenage brother. After my brother showed me some of the main controls and told me what I was supposed to do, I got to work. Though I have only been playing Minecraft for a short period of time, I would like to share some tips that anyone new to Minecraft might benefit from knowing. So, without further adieu, here are the “Five Ways to Not Look Like a Noob in Minecraft.”

  1. Make your house in the shape of a square. I, unfortunately, had the genius idea of making my house into a circle. Yes, a circle house in a game made of solely square objects. Now, I was able to eventually get my house into a spherical shape, but trust me on this one, it was so not worth the hassle.
  2. Know where things come from. As in, know how to get the blocks you want to build with. Looking through the different materials, I thought it would be a great idea for me to make my house out of Blackstone. Doesn’t sound too hard, right? Wrong. You see, Blackstone may just sound like a normal stone that is black, but apparently, it's a very special stone that is black. In order to get Blackstone, you must first find Iron Ore, mine it, make it into a pickaxe, find rare Diamond Ore, mine it, make a Diamond Pickaxe, find a way to mix lava and water, mine the Obsidian that is created by doing so, create a block frame of Obsidian, light it on fire with the Flint and Steel you supposedly should already have by now, go through the portal that is created, find what they call a Bastion while fighting mobs and avoiding lava pools, mine the Blackstone the Bastion is made of and then safely return to your base. Seems like a lot of work for a house that might get blown up by a creeper. Just stick to cobblestone.
  3. If you see a dog, it's not a dog. It's a wolf. And more importantly, don’t try petting this “dog.” You will probably accidentally hit it and then it will kill you. Just mind your business and walk away. Also, the wolves are just wolves, not werewolves. That means there is no point in trying to form a relationship with a wolf who you think is going to turn into a superhot dude named Jacob Black. Trust me, Minecraft is not the place to fulfill your Twilight fantasy. On a similar note, if you see a tall, dark figure in the woods, just know it's not Slenderman, but in fact, his much scarier, fraternal twin brother Enderman. Remember, Enderman is shy, so don’t look at him or he will start to act like Slenderman, if you know what I mean.
  4. Make sure to hide your chests on a multiplayer server if you don’t want to get your stuff stolen. The honor code may exist at the University, but in the Minecraft world, it's anarchy. First come, first serve. But also remember to remember where you hide your chests, or else you will end up demolishing entire biomes trying to figure out where you placed your valuables. And by valuables, I mean the stacks of cobblestone for your circular house.
  5. And last, but not least, make sure you put a slash before you type in the “gamemode creative” cheat when playing in survival mode with others. There might not be an honor code in Minecraft, but that doesn’t exempt you from looking like an idiot for not only needing to cheat in the game but also not knowing how to do it properly.

And that’s how you go from a Minecraft Noob to a Minecraft Beginner with just five short tips. Hopefully, this helps you get a feel for the game and stops you from embarrassing yourself in front of other crafters. Trust me, they’ll never let your mistakes go — I know from experience.