The BBC notes that Gen-Z is more pragmatic than any other generation about love and sex, while Vogue questions whether having a boyfriend is embarrassing. Somewhere between those two ideas lies the situationship, a hard-to-define kind of dating, which can range from a messy type of friends-with-benefits to flirtation without a formal partnership. There are supposed to be no labels and no expectations, yet feelings are hardly ever that simple. This Valentine’s Day, these songs represent relationships that exist somewhere between committed and casual.
“Hypotheticals” by Lake Street Dive, 2021
“Hypotheticals” sounds like optimism in musical form. With buoyant bass lines and clean guitar work to showcase their style, which blends jazz influences and pop-soul sounds, the track moves easily — a reflection of emotional openness without pressure. From the opening lyric, “Obviously, we’re at the beginning of something / I don’t expect you to know how it’s gonna go,” the song establishes a sense of uncertainty that is a gentle yet welcome possibility at the beginning of a situationship. There is no demand for clarity, but a willingness to sit in the possibilities of all the “what-ifs” together.
As the song unfolds, the song’s lyrics emphasize that one’s imagination can become their own form of fantasy. “I’ve been playing out a lot of hypotheticals in my mind / I’ve been writing your name down next to mine,” lead singer Rachael Price sings, revealing how fantasy can stand in for commitment. The band’s polished, upbeat sound reinforces the illusion of control, making everything seem light, even as the lyrics suggest that feelings about the future are already outrunning the present reality of the situation. Hopeful, expressive and careful not to ask for too much, “Hypotheticals” perfectly captures early yearning in a situation with no labels.
“Eventually” by Tame Impala, 2015
In “Eventually,” emotional distance is approached with contentment rather than drama. Wrapped in swirling synths and echoing vocals, the track feels suspended in time, refusing urgency. Singer Kevin Parker opens with a devastating admission about ending a relationship, saying, “It feels like murder to put your heart through this.” The production swells and becomes more intense, with layered, bombastic instrumentation. But that tension remains unresolved as the music continues on softly and brightly behind mournful lyrics loudly sung. Even when it seems as though there will be a resolution to the melody, the slightly off-key progression instead reflects the stress of the situation.
The chorus, “I know that I’ll be happier and I know you will too,” is underscored by a steady rhythm. The lyrics imply that while leaving is the most logical path, it remains unchosen. “Eventually” underscores how, in the context of an undefined relationship, impermanence is a part of personal growth. The repetition of “Eventually, ah-ah-ah-ah-ah,” indicates the knowledge that a relationship eventually will and should end. But that often does not stop people from staying in an undefined situation, because it can feel right while it lasts. The song reflects a new understanding — something meaningful does not need permanence to matter.
“Change (In the House of Flies)” by Deftones, 2000
“Change (In the House of Flies)” is emotionally heavy without sounding overly loud, it’s unsettling precisely because it resists release. Built on slow, distorted guitar lines and Chino Moreno’s restrained vocals, the song creates a claustrophobic atmosphere that mirrors emotional decay. When Moreno sings “I’ve watched you change / into a fly,” the lyrics frame the narrator as an unwilling observer, refusing to interfere in a partner’s transformation, be it into a fly or into a new person.
The narrator’s role grows increasingly ambiguous, especially in lines such as “I took you home / Set you on the glass / I pulled off your wings,” which blur the boundary between care and control. What begins as an observation about the situation curdles into an implication about holding the other person back. In the context of a poorly defined relationship, ambiguity, once a form of freedom, becomes a tool, allowing one person to remain detached while the other deteriorates under the weight of no permissible expectations. “Change (In the House of Flies)” reflects the guilt that accompanies intimacy without responsibility, especially when there is no one truly at fault to take the burden of responsibility.
“Sweet Disposition" by Temper Trap, 2008
“Sweet Disposition” is an indie anthem rooted in the fleeting innocence and emotional intensity of youth. The song builds gradually, layering vocals, drums and a guitar riff. At the start, lead vocalist Dougy Mandagi sings in a softer tone as the drums kick in, but the song eventually builds, with more instruments introduced and the vocals rising as well. From the opening lines of, “Oh, reckless abandon / Like no one’s watching you,” the track invites vulnerability without fear of facing consequence, capturing the thrill of feeling.
Echoed in the refrain, “A moment, a love / A dream, aloud / A kiss, a cry / Our rights, our wrongs,” is that openness, which presents individual fleeting moments as significant events in themselves. “Sweet Disposition” reflects the appeal of choosing presence over permanence, staying in a situationship not because forever together is promised, but because the weight of all the moments together is wanted exactly as it is.
These songs trace the many possible arcs of a single situationship, from hopeful speculations in “Hypotheticals” to overt awareness in “Change (In the House of Flies).” They remind us that even relationships built on flexibility and freedom are shaped by feeling. For relationships in an indeterminate gray area, this Valentine’s Day may not be about defining love, but recognizing feeling, wherever it exists.
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