For as long as I can remember, I’ve told myself everything happens for a reason. I don’t get that internship I wanted, the guy who asked for my number at the bar doesn’t use it, I never get off the waitlist for a class I might be interested in — it all must not have been meant to be.
I usually say I don’t believe in fate. For me, the word brings to mind images of soulmates crossing continents to be together, or fortune-tellers gazing into crystal balls and flipping over tarot cards to tell my future. Certainly something as large as the cosmos can’t have anything to do with something as trivial as which clubs accept me this semester.
However, I find myself relying on this dusty old adage far more often than I should. And what’s worse is that it works just frequently enough for me to keep falling back on it. A family friend calls and wants to know if I’d like a summer job with his company. In line for coffee one afternoon, I run into Mr. Missed Connection from the bar last weekend. Just as I’m about to take my name off the waitlist, I get an email alerting me 10 more spots opened up in the class and I’m officially enrolled.
Logically, I can’t chalk these instances up to more than some luck and simple statistics. Still, in the past, I’ve allowed myself to believe these things all might have happened for reasons beyond my control. The problem is, I sometimes find that belief dictating how hard I try and how thoroughly I apply myself. If a few good things can happen by chance alone, I tell myself, maybe those other goals can be left up to fate as well, and I allow myself to sit idly and watch as opportunities pass me by.
This belief is crippling. The idea that things will happen naturally is a fallacy. My fate, or whatever I choose to call it, is not something which happens to me. Rather, it’s something I have to work for.
I think people who truly trust “fate” in a healthy way don’t conceptualize it as some invisible hand guiding them through life, clearing obstacles out of their paths and leading them blindly to water. Rather, fate consists of outcomes or goals they want to achieve, and whether it is written in the constellations or found somewhere more intrinsic, the path towards achievement is theirs to forge.
The reality is that regardless of how badly I want something, or how hard I feel I might have worked for it, there is no otherworldly power out there to ensure I get what I want. While in the past I might have taken that as an excuse not to try at all, this semester I’m promising myself I will take it as an excuse to work even harder. If it’s meant to be, I will make it be.
Kristin’s column runs biweekly Tuesdays. She can be reached at k.murtha@cavalierdaily.com.
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