As the middle child between two unruly brothers, it struck me at a young age that I could easily be “the well-behaved one.” Either out of respect for my parents’ sanity or out to seek the title of “the favorite child,” I followed all the rules and did as I was told. To me, my parents were people to impress, and this was not hard to do, considering my brothers seemed to bring about mayhem with everything they did. Thus, growing up, I was under the impression that being older and more mature than my younger brother innately rendered me the one to look up to. Now I can see that I’m the one who has learned from him.
My younger brother, being especially devious, was not only consistently hurting himself, but also pulling pranks and making everyone’s head spin. He was a handful from the time he was two and scared off numerous babysitters. In hindsight, we should have foreseen him spraying the garden hose inside the house or ripping shrubbery out of our mother’s garden. Though he was relentless — and honestly terrifying at times — his antics set a low bar for my parents’ standards of what qualified as good behavior.
I grew up distanced from Johnny and frustrated by the repercussions I faced from his decisions — for example, my mom banned us from watching “Home Alone” for several years because he sporadically called people “filthy animals." He consistently disobeyed authority throughout his adolescence. Years of this pattern — his lawlessness and my adherence to the rules of our parents — made it all the more shocking when I realized that my little brother had grown into someone who himself deserved to be looked up to.
I certainly never expected my little brother to be a model character. However, it’s been humbling — and quite a relief — to watch him grow up. Though he hasn’t broken all ties to his younger days (rather often do my parents receive unexpected charges on their credit cards for a series of video game purchases), I can no longer say it’s easy to outshine my little brother in good behavior. He’s resilient, wildly talented and resolute in his lightheartedness and optimism. He can spark laughter in a roomful of people and still do me the kindness of laughing at my jokes, even though they’re not nearly as funny as his.
Many of us with younger siblings can relate to this illuminating feeling of realizing that the baby of the family will remain as such only in age and not in personality. Going away to school, we often leave thinking that all will be the same when we return. However, I have the privilege of coming home to a younger brother who is increasingly inspiring and even more of a joy to be around than when I last saw him. I’m only sad to not be there to witness him changing.
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