Top 10 types of candidates for student office

Let’s wildly speculate about the candidates for student office

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University elections are scheduled for Feb. 21 to 23. 

Grace Codella and Maddy Sita | Cavalier Daily

1. The résumé builder

Updating your résumé can be an intimidating task — especially if your free time is predominated by activities such as watching videos of puffins on YouTube and avoiding the prospect of applying for internships. Becoming a member of Student Council can be a simple way to add an embellishment to your résumé. It’s like the gold star your teacher used to give you, or, if you’re like me, the gold stars you continued to give yourself throughout high school.

2. The highly motivated individual

Speaking of gold stars, Leslie Knope definitely ran for Student Council and if the University is lucky, a Leslie Knope adjacent candidate exists. Hopefully, she has an amazing campaign manager like Ben Wyatt, but if not, she is capable of accomplishing just about anything on her own, including bettering our school and consuming mass amounts of waffles.

3. The entitled one

If there’s a Leslie Knope, odds are there is also a Bobby Newport running for office. A slightly entitled individual that probably rolled in from a private school and summers in the Cape. In order to climb the social ladder, one must also have a prestigious title to use in casual conversation in addition to one’s usual anecdote about some skiing mishap.

4. The actual future president

This one is potentially far-fetched, but if the founder of this school was president, I’m sure his pupils could become president as well. Or if not president, at least some major part of the political game. I don’t know if you’ve seen the “West Wing,” but if you haven’t, I highly recommend it. Second, if you watch it, you’ll immediately want a high-power political career — even if you only watch the news when your brother steals the remote and changes the channel from “Gossip Girl.” If such an individual is running for office, odds are they’ll have a very dramatic political speech in store for us.    

5. The “I didn’t realize what I signed up for”

Everyone gets lots of emails about getting involved. I think I might be a member of at least four clubs I know nothing about. I don’t know what the process of signing up for a student election is like, but if it’s anything like signing up for other things at the University, it would be easy for someone to unknowingly put their name on the ballot. If that has happened to anyone, I would be delighted for them to be elected. It would certainly be prime entertainment.

6. The “I just wanted to make posters”

The desire to craft is a strong driving force for most of the things I have done — like making a tri-fold presentation for a relatively small assignment. Candidates also get to write fun chalk messages on the sidewalk. This election, though, has been shockingly light on advertisements, seeing as I didn’t realize elections were going on until I was assigned this article. Now that I know, I’ll be on the lookout for fun chalk messages!

7. The doubtful

It seems like every single person here is involved in something extremely impressive. It can be enough for a person to harbor some serious self-doubt about their extra-curricular prowess. Desperate for validation, it seems like turning to student elections is a perfectly reasonable thing to do. Next time someone casually mentions their whatever-society or fancy institution, you can kindly remind them that though that may be nice, you are the president of them.

8. The person who likes to win

People here tend to be a little competitive with well, everything. It might be good to put those competitive energies into something that won’t cause your personal relationships to deteriorate. And bonus — you won’t have to argue over ties and points.  

9. The bored one

When I’m bored, I turn to activities such as jigsaw puzzles, reading or knitting — lame, I know. But I can understand if someone might want something a little more interesting with which to fill their time. Though obviously, knitting is super interesting, and you get a fun scarf when you’re done. If a candidate wins, chances are they might miss that free-time they resented, or they might enjoy the responsibilities of office — we’ll see.

10. The person that has one thing to change

I would run for student office if I thought I could get filtered water in my dorm or get the shower to start draining again. If whoever ends up getting elected is reading this, Woody needs help. If someone is running with specific problems in mind — ethical, economical or purely motivated by personal needs — life could get better at the University for at least that one person.

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