Guns abound in Martin Lawrence's new movie, "Blue Streak," but a PG-13 rating delivers the fatal blow.
Apparently the writers - or perhaps Columbia Pictures - thought they could make the famously profane comedian fun for the whole family. And there is a measure of equanimity in "Blue Streak": It will bore viewers of all ages.
Lawrence plays Miles Logan, a burglar who's so good that during the robbery of a diamond worth $17 million, he can take the time to joke with his crew about being unable to open the safe. So it comes as quite a shock when his partner betrays him in the middle of the heist. Mayhem ensues, the police catch on and Logan gets caught - but not before he stashes the diamond in the ventilation system of an unfinished building.
Two years later, Logan leaves prison unfazed, smiling and singing, "Ain't nothin' but a free thang, baby!" After his girlfriend dumps him for being a criminal, Logan - still unfazed - goes to pick up his diamond. The building where he left it, however, is now occupied. It's home to the Los Angeles Police Department. The fit Logan throws upon discovering the fate of the building is the funniest scene in the movie - throughout "Blue Streak," Lawrence's physical humor outweighs anything he says.
To get his rock, Logan adopts the persona of Officer Malone, a transfer from another police department. He has to stick around more than one day, though, as a flushing of the ventilation system has moved the diamond from its original hiding spot. Soon he's assigned a partner, the gullible Detective Carlson (Luke Wilson), and they hit the streets. Of course, Logan quickly earns the respect of the police force - he's "just what the department needs," say his superiors, who grant him a promotion to detective.
"Blue Streak" seems to drag on forever, mainly because it lacks a talented supporting cast. Besides Lawrence, Wilson has the most screen time, but he adds absolutely nothing to the movie. He doesn't even serve as the goofy white guy. The only source of supporting humor is Dave Chappelle as Tully, the getaway driver for Logan's diamond heist and fellow criminal.
More important, Lawrence needs at least an R rating to reach his full comic potential. Thanks to the restrictions of a PG-13 rating, when a FBI agent tells Logan he needs to curse to go undercover as a criminal, Lawrence proceeds to use the word "ass" several times. Actually, the movie hinges on a plethora of "ass" jokes. That's as far as Lawrence can go, which doesn't seem right for a man famous for raving about feminine hygiene. "You So Crazy," the 1994 film of his stand-up comedy act, received an NC-17 rating for language alone. How do you go from "You So Crazy" to "ass?"
As erratic as his off-screen behavior has been, it's hard to figure why Lawrence agreed to this project. But he'd be well advised to stick to scripts that don't confine his artistic freedom. Let him be profane.
Grade: D-
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