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Raucous Republicans revel in victory

RICHMOND -- The chandeliers were sparkling, the liquor was flowing, and the room was filled with enough suits to clothe an entire law firm. But in addition to this swanky and typically conservative scenario, last night's Republican victory party at the Marriott Hotel in Richmond had quite a festive air about it.

The incongruously young top 40 beat of Ricky Martin pulsed through the room. Red, white and blue balloons floated near the ceiling like a patriotic cloud, and "Bush for President" stickers were emblazoned on each faithful GOP chest like a Republican cattle brand.

When the election results were announced, the anticipation that had been mounting throughout the evening exploded, transforming the older crowd into a frenzied high school pep rally. But more than just serving as the victory party to celebrate the modern GOP's first bicameral majority in Virginia history, last night's party also served as an interesting microcosm of what the Republican Party is like as a whole.

Perhaps it's an exaggeration to say that the stingy assortment of chips and pretzels the Republicans served up on the dinner plate was a metaphor for the stingy budgets they have the potential to serve up for the Commonwealth now that they're in complete political control. But the lack of ethnic Republicans in the room did say something sad and real about what the party stands for today.

"Sure, it's easy to feel like you stick out here if you're not white," said Dr. Shaukat Siddiqi, a Pakistani professor and GOP contributor, as he shook his head sadly. "Usually, I'm one of the only minorities at Republican events and that's not just locally -- I see that at national rallies, too. It'll change eventually, but it's not easy to attract minorities when having so few of us can make us feel almost unwelcome."

As the cash bar continued to pour out the fun for increasingly tipsy Republicans, the wealthy party members at the gala became more rambunctiously opinionated about how they were ready to take a stand for "the American people." Or maybe what they meant was "for the American people who can afford to shell out $2.50 for a glass of gin and juice (minus the gin for me, thank you)."

Serving as the centerpiece of these wealthy -- if somewhat soused -- Republicans was sausage king Jimmy Dean, who currently resides about an hour outside of Richmond.

"People need to vote more regularly," proclaimed Dean in his booming sausage king slur. "But then again, I only vote so that I can exercise my right to bitch!" he continued jokingly. When I asked him about his "George Allen: A Senator we Can Trust" baseball cap, however, the towering Dean gave me a scowl and promptly put me in a teasing, if somewhat terrifying, headlock. "Child, hush now!" he yelled, now only half jokingly, as my little head was smothered by his massive, sausage king arm. "The poll returns are coming in!"

As each Republican victory was viewed on the big screen TV, a whooping crescendo rang through the audience. "Another victory for conservatism!" whined the designated delegate who had descended from the suites upstairs to grace the peons with his holier-than-the-victory-party presence. "It won't be long now!"

"Hmph. Typical," muttered Janine Woods, a Marriott bartender, as she served me my glass of water. "This happens every year, you know -- the bigwigs stay upstairs in their nice suites and don't even talk to these people down here at the party until it ends." Ms. Woods has bartended at Republican events like this in Richmond for six years. "It's a shame how they all just party and don't remember who got them there."

While Ms. Woods professed that the sororities that come to the hotel do party harder, it is a shame that the Republican leaders don't extend warmth to their constituency, especially on an occasion when their voters came just to offer them support. It's a shame how Republicans don't embrace the entire constituency of less wealthy or ethnic voters, as exemplified even in this single victory party.

Following the 2000 census, election lines will have to be redrawn to adhere to changing demographics. In the past, Republicans have accused the Democrats of gerrymandering these lines to their political advantage since they could do so as the majority. Now, with the 2000 redistricting in their domain, it is uncertain whether the Republicans will avoid hypocritically doing the same thing. But trying to get a Republican -- or any politician for that matter -- to admit that they may do something wrong is harder than breaking it to them that their colorful GOP elephant tie doesn't match their shirt.

"The last thing we would ever do is gerrymander!" shouted the Honorable U.S. Congressman Tom Bliley with all the southern comfort of his congenial accent. "Why, when I was young, those darn Democrats gerrymandered right down my street! They might as well have put me in a West Virginia voting district!"

When the last polls came in, the Republican gods finally came down from their plush heavens to rejoice in their victory with their homogeneously white, old, and now sauced, devotees. "Now, it is great once again to be a Republican in the Commonwealth, ladies and gentleman," began Republican Party of Virginia Chairman J. Randy Forbes before plunging into his victory speech. Let's just hope it is for the rest of us too.

(Diya Gullapalli is a Cavalier Daily columnist.)

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