FOR UNANNOINTED first years, the first few weeks of college are full of adventure and discovery. Particularly with regard to social activities, college life poses many new and perhaps challenging situations to deal with. Take, for example, the ubiquitous "hook up."
The simple truth about hooking up and all of its related protocol stands as evidence that women are no more liberated now than 40 years ago. Because the practice gives men complete access to sexual fulfillment time and again without the ties of commitment that they often find so burdensome, we have little to thank our foremothers for.
I still clearly remember the first time I heard the phrase in connotation with sexual activities. Call me naive, but at my high school - and not that many years ago - "hooking up" referred to meeting up with a friend or group of people. Not so at U.Va, I learned. I figured it was part of the whole "Grounds not campus" and "first year not freshman" thing.
So as a first year, I gradually adapted to the new meaning of the term. In the course of three years, though, it appears that this catchy phrase has become part of the nation's lexicon and consciousness.
This slang term could be explained as any other - our parents, for example, used unoriginal baseball analogies to make the same point.
But recent commentary by some of the country's most heralded people-watchers indicates otherwise. Hooking up isn't just a catch phrase the way "radical, dude" was. The term represents the sexual attitudes and behaviors of our generation. Moreover, hooking up indicates a complete about-face from the principles that the feminist movement championed in hopes that future women would live free from the subordinating demands of the male species.
Not only is "hooking up" officially part of our vocabulary, it drives the plotlines of "Sex and the City," song lyrics of "virgin" Britney Spears and the designs of this season's jeans with two-button flies. It also happens to be the title of a collection of short stories by American novelist Tom Wolfe and the subject of a recent Maureen Dowd column and a new book by Midge Decter, an aged feminist who has grown disdainful of her youthful ideals.
Of course, not all guys only want sex all the time. Not all men are unfaithful. Certainly women have sexual drives and desires, as well. But hooking up relates to simple biology - a force that wins most of the time. While women our age begin to coo over Martha Stewart decorating ideas, 20-something men get to live like unbridled horses. Hooking up has become the convenient solution to the demands of our time and self-absorption.
Not that sex is bad. If practiced safely, sex with multiple partners over several years is part of the natural progression of life for some people. But random sex is bad. Certainly the shift in relations between men and women that has resulted in equality being subordinated to sexuality is no step in the right direction. Sexual freedom is much different than sexual slavery. Hooking up gives both men and women the opportunity to exploit the sexual desires of others without fulfilling any pretense of commitment. It's OK if you don't want any strings - just call an escort service.
These are complicated and emotional issues - three years of college have provided me with insights I never imagined to have. It's easy to find yourself in a situation that makes sense at the time that later proves otherwise. Everyone deals with these issues at some time or another. But treat yourself and others with respect - it makes a difference.
Fourth years like myself have all been there before, and hopefully you hook up virgins out there - just like innocent Britney herself (cue music) - can prove to be "stronger." It's the best way to avoid the negative consequences like the walk of shame and lost thongs of random hook ups.
(Katherine Martini's column appears Mondays in The Cavalier Daily. She can be reached at kmartini@cavalierdaily.com.)
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