The Cavalier Daily
Serving the University Community Since 1890

The origins of friendships

YOU ALL have probably heard at least a hundred times in the past few months that college will be a life-changing experience. Relatives and friends undoubtedly have buried you with the "new freedoms, new choices and new challenges await you" line. This is all true. However, you'll find your life at the University still will reflect quite a bit of your life at home. Making new friends at the University, like in your life at home, will be a new and interesting challenge for you once you arrive, and one that you'll find wonderfully rewarding, provided that you realize the added importance of these friends in your life as a whole here.

I was fortunate in that I met some of my closest friends during my very first day at the University. Two of my hallmates in Cauthen dorm, Suleyman and Mike, became my housemates during second year, and although our paths are diverging this fall - I'll be in Rome studying abroad, Mike will be living in his fraternity's house, and Suleyman will stay in our current apartment - we're still best friends.

It's strange now to think back to that first day, the awkwardness of the endless icebreakers and introductions to new people. You inevitably will find yourself in this position when you arrive in August. Just go with it. Take in the experience for what it's worth, and make your best efforts to branch out and meet a diverse group of people during the first week here. Don't restrict yourself to just your dorm hall or suite, introduce yourself to random people in O-Hill, or your classes, or the libraries. As odd as it might sound, both you and those you meet will appreciate the effort you've made, and you never know the future significance of the people you meet. They could very well be your future housemates, classmates and friends.

The importance of timing in making new friends is key. It's going to be awkward and strange being lumped together with over a thousand others who, for the most part, don't know many others here either. The appeal in this is that pretty much every first year is in the same boat, going through the same introductions, icebreakers and meetings. Take advantage of this, and don't hesitate to meet others, either. Don't think for a minute that it'll get easier to meet lots of people as time goes by, because it won't. You'll probably notice after the first month or two of school that groups of friends are hanging out regularly - in the dining halls, the dorms, the athletic facilities, libraries and on the Corner. Obviously, you'll keep meeting new people throughout your years here, but it's much easier to get a handle on lots of names and faces during that first week.

Another great way to meet new friends here is joining one or more extracurricular groups. The University has an activity for every interest under the sun it seems - everything from modeling to journalism to the Greek system. Given the incredibly wide range of activities available here, there is without a doubt a place for every student in some activity. These groups are a great way to meet people who share your interests, as well as form networking connections to others outside the group. Make a serious effort to attend at least one interest meeting for a group during your first few weeks at the University, if not more. I don't doubt for a second that whatever you choose to do, you'll find the experience eye-opening and an invaluable part of your overall education here.

When you arrive in August and begin meeting people, always keep an open mind when making friends. Get out of your dorm and meet others in places around Grounds. You never know - before you know it, the person you're being introduced to one day in the library could become your best friend.

(Austen Givens is a Cavalier Daily columnist. He can be reached at agivens@cavalierdaily.com.)

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