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Seven secrets to resume success

I thought my resume was dreamy. I thought my resume would turn all possible employers into Pavlov's dogs who salivated in their corner offices at the slightest scent of its Kinko ink. I thought pickers can't be choosers, and you shouldn't throw stones in glass houses, and why does Michael Jackson claim to sleep on the floor while the children are nestled all tucked in his bed? Use the guest bedroom alibi Michael, you fool.

I got tired of thinking.

Then it came to me, the harrowing realization, clear as perpetual cloudless sky over Neverland Ranch. The resume "Experience" category made me and other innocents appear most qualified to be (earmuffs for the younger audience please)

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Latest Podcast

With the fall season underway, Cavalier Daily Sports Desk writers Victoria Blankenship and Ryan Weiner discuss the University’s Sabre Points System, how it works and why it matters for Virginia athletics. From football Saturdays to volleyball courts, they share how the system strengthens student turnout and shapes the athletic experience on Grounds.