It's the end of an era -- a sad time. Some of us have never experienced significant loss in our young lives. Until now, that is.
As we said goodbye to "Sex and the City" -- with all its glamour and humor, beauty and wit -- many of us spent this past Sunday night with our friends, shushing each other as the world we all look forward to post-college and maybe even post-twenties went from fabulous to fuzz in 48 quick minutes.
Mr. Big came back to Carrie, Carrie to New York, Charlotte adopted a baby, Smith is hotter than any guy I ever imagined and all of this while Miranda saw what kind of sacrifices marriage and love require.
And I am without my compass in life -- okay, maybe it's not that dramatic, but now I actually have to subscribe to fashion magazines instead of HBO which provided a runway fashion show in my living room every Sunday night.
And yet, even in all of its couture glory and blatant symbolism, all I really took with me was one line, a final plea for love, a theme -- if you will -- meant for most of us.
"I'm looking for love, real love, ridiculous, inconvenient, consuming, can't live without you love."
Looking around the room at my girl friends and the lone gentleman in the corner who was taking notes on how to score a lucky lady, I realized maybe this was true of most of us. We hope for relationships, if not now then some day in the future.
So, in my efforts to understand once more this world of boys and girls, dates and date functions, I went to the source, the Mecca of love information. I talked to y'all, well, not all, but some, and I found nothing but confusing and chaotic retorts. Surprised?
Walking to class, I casually asked one of my coupled friends why she was dating her boyfriend.
"He's cute, so sweet and smarter than me," she said. "I love hanging out with him and his friends are really cool, too. We're like best friends -- he takes me seriously so I feel like I can cry if I have to but can also laugh things off. I don't think I can marry him, but I don't know ... maybe. I'm just seeing where it takes me, you know?"
Yeah, I do know. In fact, it sounds very familiar. Most of the people I have met date not necessarily to find the love of their life but to try out what works for them and what doesn't.
Maybe this friend of mine will discover some horrible habit her boyfriend has or meet someone else with cool friends, a good sense of humor and a good personality. Maybe she will stay in love with him, and I will be adorned in tulle three years from now.
Regardless, what she is basically saying is that until another better option comes along or she knows she cannot marry him, she is going to enjoy his company and "see" what happens.
Not completely satisfied with one answer, I continued my quest. I asked a guy what he wanted from a girlfriend.
"I don't know, I mean, I guess I've never thought about it," he said. "When she comes along, I'll know, and then I'll date someone. I just haven't found a lady here that I want to put that much into. It's a lot of time and stuff ..."
Totally legit. Relationships require time and commitment that could be used somewhere else. For this guy, the girl he commits to is going to have to be worth one less hour here and there of studying or hanging out with the guys.
More often that not, being a good partner in a romantic relationship means making sacrifices in order to appease the other person. Yet it is worth it if the person is special to you. But even this friend didn't know where this value was to be found. It's just going to happen.
Next.
"What do I want from a guy in a relationship? Nothing. I don't want a relationship."
Okay, that's not as profound as I hoped, but there was Natty Light involved.
"Why?" I asked.
"Because I have everything I need from the people I have right now. My friends are fun, give me help when I need it, laugh with me, drink with me ... hell, I even have guy friends who'll cuddle with me. Plus, if you want to hook-up, we all know you don't need a boyfriend for that."
Huh. Nice angle on a topic most people despise -- being single and staying there. So, is that the deal? I assume what she was saying is that a boyfriend is now considered a friend with a degree of sexual attachment. If you have friends and have access to sexual whatevers, why date?
Oh, the possibilities.
Stumped by the varied answers, I didn't expect to find many more to confuse me until...
"I don't want to date right now because I know whoever I date is not looking for a long-term commitment. I'm done with casual dating. It's hard on the heart and seems like a really drawn out dress rehearsal for the real deal. I know what I want, and I know I won't get it at 20. I'll wait, maybe it will even come tomorrow, and I'm really glad about that."
So, if I get this right, generalize my random sample, and add in some of my amateur analysis, some of us just want to have fun and see what happens, others want to do it right -- and arrive at the altar -- the first time. There are those of us who don't want to date because it seems pointless, while others think it's too threatening. Others of us would jump at the chance to share their day with a boy or girlfriend, given he or she meets particular criteria.
Wow. I'm sure glad we got some straight answers.
All I can come up with is that we as individuals know what we want and even if we don't, we're good at thinking on our feet. On the other hand, we as a culture of college kids are indefinable.
I'm not worried, though. Even if we could tack a cute name on our generation like yuppie, hippie or baby boomer, it wouldn't change much, nor would it really help us to figure it out for ourselves any sooner.
All I know is that we have to try it out, make decisions and in the words of my friend mentioned above: "see where it takes us."
Or maybe we will work towards the ridiculous, inconvenient, consuming, can't live without you love our beloved Carrie Bradshaw dreamt of and eventually found. I wouldn't mind it personally, especially if I could wear Blaniks and end up with Mr. Big -- excuse me -- John.
Read More
Queer Student Union showcases strength and spreads love
By Rosie Strickland | 5 days agoThis summer, QSU members say that the organization’s efforts to support the University’s Queer community extend far beyond the 30 days of June.
‘Don’t get too comfortable’: Words of wisdom for the incoming class
By Kate Johnson | July 4, 2025These fourth-year students offer their reflections on their first year at the University.
Navigating the University from near and far
By Amanda Chung , Mai Hukuoka and Dana Douglas | July 2, 2025As the 2025-26 school year inches closer, three Life writers came together to discuss their different perspectives as in-state and out-of-state students.
