I constantly hear young females in the library pondering the sexual preferences of certain men. Obviously, these conversations are not heard aloud; I typically tend to be somewhat of an eavesdropper -- a slight over-hearer -- of such conversations. But anyway, these discussions exist on the "down low" (no pun intended). With the growing animosity and disdain directed at homosexuals in the United States, young females can expect that the life of the "down low" man will very likely continue.
The "down low" was originally a term used to refer to black men who slept with other men but did not identify themselves as gay. A recent episode of "Oprah" titled, "A Secret Sex World: Living on the 'Down Low'," investigated the effects of the supposed "down low" lifestyle: men secretly sleeping with other men while openly dating and sleeping with women. The lifestyle incites conflict across the black community with some of its members and the media attributing the AIDS epidemic to such practices. In the same show, viewers were able to see that while the "down low" lifestyle is most prevalent among minorities, an increasing number of white men are engaging in such practices and how it fuels the AIDS backlash against the entire gay community.
In essence, homophobia feeds the AIDS pandemic. By blaming gays for the growing AIDS rate, particularly in the black community, the real issues at hand are disregarded. The concern within the female community is understandable: When men are promiscuous with other men and then return to the loving hands of their wives or girlfriends, they put innocent women at risk.
A community's ability to address safe sex and AIDS also remains hindered by the community's enticement with the "down low." AIDS originates from any sex --- not simply sex between gay men. The truth of contemporary sex is that the consequences of sex are sudden and permanent.
"Either we counsel our kids about how to have sex as safely as they can, or we can bury them before their lives begin," author Michael Eric Dyson writes in "The Michael Eric Dyson Reader."
No more promiscuity, better sex education, and then no more problems? But sex and homosexuality have never been that simple in the United States. The homophobia that appears to cloud the thought processes of many Americans destroys our ability to accomplish anything.
In "On the Down Low: A Journey into the Lives of 'Straight' Black Men Who Sleep with Men," the author J.L. King writes of his marriage: "My marriage wasn't a lie, because I love my wife, she was my best friend, we were running partners. What was a lie about the marriage was my desire to have sex with other men. I did not reveal that to her because I was scared."
Simply put, if we are unwilling to see gays as our equals and stop demonizing them as AIDS carriers, can we really expect gays to speak openly with anyone?
Maligning young men on the "down low" vilifies homosexuality and bisexuality and may only put women at more risk. Sadly, after calling attention to the "down low," we have failed to search out the cause for high AIDS infection rates among young men, particularly black men. Instead, we discuss topics such as high AIDS rates among young women and the "implicitly guilty" gay men who infect them, gay activist Keith Boykin writes on Gay.com Network.
Oh, did I forget to mention that there are many straight men sleeping with multiple women and vice versa? In this scenario, promiscuity is the issue, not gay sex. Men who are promiscuous with other men or women place their partner at risk. Neither action is justifiable.
Kurt Davis is a Cavalier Daily Health and Sexuality columnist. He can be reached at kurt@cavalierdaily.com.
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