This year marks the twenty-fifth anniversary of the Golden Raspberry Awards, which celebrate Hollywood's schlock cinema with categories ranging from Worst Picture to Worst Remake or Sequel to Worst On-Screen Duo. Every year -- except for last year, when Gigli swept the major categories -- the "awards" are split among deserving films. And this year's awards will not disappoint.
For Worst Picture Oliver Stone's epic Alexander, an epic disaster, is a frontrunner. Nominees Catwoman and White Chicks were bad, but failed to fail with the gusto of Alexander. Audiences nationwide smelled something rotten when the other nominees' trailers were shown, but Alexander lifted moviegoers high before dropping them like the movie's second weekend box office numbers.
For Worst Actor, Ben Stiller is nominated for his performances in five movies this past year. Though impressive, Stiller's dud performances pale in comparison to that of nominee George W. Bush in Fahrenheit 9/11. At first, one might think Colin Farrell or Ben Affleck gave the year's worst performances, but Bush's "fool me once" speech could secure the win.
Other notable nominees: Shawn and Marlon Wayans in White Chicks and Halle Berry for Catwoman for Worst Actress. But the category with true parity is Worst Remake or Sequel, featuring Alien Vs. Predator, Exorcist: The Beginning, Anacondas: Hunt for the Blood Orchid, Around the World in Eighty Days and Scooby Doo 2: Monsters Unleashed.
While AVP disappointed horror andsci-fi fans everywhere and the Exorcist prequel had none of the original's scares, both flicks have two reasons why they won't "win" this Saturday -- they were intriguing enough to attract faithful fans. And both come from a strong lineage. So the winner is the Anaconda sequel, whose original was so bad that it underscored Eric Stoltz's meteoric fall since Memphis Belle. How this ever became a B-movie -- much less a feature film -- just goes to show America how low Hollywood is willing to sink.
And, in the end, that's what the Golden Razzies are all about.
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