If you are confused about why you can't get that cute girl living two doors down, even though you spend hours honing those pecks, you need to read this.
What is the most attractive feature of a guy? Although it is a matter of opinion, for the majority of my girl friends and me, it all comes down to "a sense of humor." Nothing is sexier than a guy who references "Monty Python," attempts to dance like Napoleon Dynamite or insists that people call him "Tex" even though he's from Utah.
The other qualities we women tend to seek in a guy are also important, of course. No doubt, a guy who takes care of his dying grandmother or a guy who can play 12 instruments is very, very attractive. But nothing compares to a guy who makes you laugh to tears when he sets aside time to train for the burrito-eating contest.
It isn't that physical features aren't important. Chances are if he has a sense of humor, he'll soon be gorgeous enough to keep you laying awake in bed thinking about his smile. But if we are going to judge a guy by his cover, then we need to recognize the features that represent exactly what it is we want in a man. The biggest misconception of what is sexy -- the six pack.
My friend Alex found it very hard to believe that I would be repelled by these man-made gastrointestinal bulges because "after all, Brad Pitt has them." Despite Brad, my argument against washboard abs is worth considering if you are a girl looking to actually date a guy and not make out with the air-brushed poster of a sex icon.
As I stated initially, a sense of humor is the most important quality, and as I see it, a six pack is one of the biggest indicators of an uptight, inflated guy who takes himself way too seriously. When he is an idealist, it usually follows that there are perfectionist expectations -- pressure to also have the perfect body. A six pack, attained through rigorous exercise and stingy diet, would make me feel intimidated and inadequate. Six packs are only good for one thing -- drinking.
I will reference Fabian, Butch's girlfriend in "Pulp Fiction," who said about the seductive allure of bellies: "It's unfortunate what we find pleasing to the touch and pleasing to the eye is seldom the same." So true. It is the soft, fleshy tummy that is nice to cuddle with -- sorry Brad.
They say "what you get is what you see." In that case, it's important to know what it is that you are seeing so you know what you are getting. Are you seeing a Don Juan DeMarco who is simply a genetic masterpiece or are you seeing a guy who spends hours each week perfecting his tan and getting pedicures? The fact of the matter is that good looks are temporary -- like a fortune cookie, the outside can only get so good, and it's what's on the inside that keeps you coming back for more.
Kate Carlisle is a Cavalier Daily Health & Sexuality Columnist. She can be reached at kate@cavalierdaily.com
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